I walk along a path of gravel
I pay the devils toll to travel
Travel down the road of
Long forgotten souls.
I'm running out of daylight hour
I will not make it home
For when the sun has set
I truly walk alone.
I walk the road that spirits stalk
When straying far from home
The farther down the path I stroll
The louder the bell toll.
I walk next to a patch of trees
And miles and miles of bones.
On every tree is carved the words
"Go home dear girl. Go home!"
The air is cold and heavy
It sends shivers down my spine
A stench in the air lingers
I hear deaths subtle whispers
It calls me to my doom.
At the end I expected there to be
Something like nirvana or a peaceful place
But now I look down on my body from this lofty airspace
And wonder how this happened to me.
It isn't fair that I should die so young,
But so many things went awry
To put me up here in the sky.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Deaths Door
Carve your lies into my soul
then take away my sanity and send it far from here
Treat me like a cardboard box
then break me down and send me back
I try to escape all reality but your grip is just too strong
Your eerie whispers as loud as screams shout into my ears
I close my eyes and say goodnight
as the freezing air stuns my lungs
broken down and weak with fear
I walk out of the coffins edge
as death arrives I bow down to him
and then the torture begins
It like I knew you would do this again
I just didn't see the pain coming with it
I try to hold on to life and love for so long
but in order to live I must let go of fear
I still remember your piercing words
that stole my innocence while I slept
You wrote them in a crinkled note
and now here they are forever on my heart
then take away my sanity and send it far from here
Treat me like a cardboard box
then break me down and send me back
I try to escape all reality but your grip is just too strong
Your eerie whispers as loud as screams shout into my ears
I close my eyes and say goodnight
as the freezing air stuns my lungs
broken down and weak with fear
I walk out of the coffins edge
as death arrives I bow down to him
and then the torture begins
It like I knew you would do this again
I just didn't see the pain coming with it
I try to hold on to life and love for so long
but in order to live I must let go of fear
I still remember your piercing words
that stole my innocence while I slept
You wrote them in a crinkled note
and now here they are forever on my heart
Monday, September 27, 2010
Love Breeding Obsession
Love breeding obsession
Uncontrollable regression
An expression of repression
No blood in my brain,
No clarity in lucid dreams
Just undefined schemes
Closed doors and sexual means
Your kiss is venomous
I miss your tenderness
An eclipse to reminisce
I'm bliss in our inventiveness.
We list our work worries
But really want elicit sex and breathlessness
My wrist wrapped, transcending this
Your lips and my hopelessness.
Your scents arouse my famished lust,
indulge within your flesh I must,
thy saucy demon on my lip,
and into throbbing crimson slip...
I wanna go to scream to the world
What you mean to my soul
It seems clear bright and bold,
But i still wont do what I'm told.
My feet will never touch the ground
whether I'm sinking or air bound
It's rather inconsequential now
But I want my heart to be found!
Uncontrollable regression
An expression of repression
No blood in my brain,
No clarity in lucid dreams
Just undefined schemes
Closed doors and sexual means
Your kiss is venomous
I miss your tenderness
An eclipse to reminisce
I'm bliss in our inventiveness.
We list our work worries
But really want elicit sex and breathlessness
My wrist wrapped, transcending this
Your lips and my hopelessness.
Your scents arouse my famished lust,
indulge within your flesh I must,
thy saucy demon on my lip,
and into throbbing crimson slip...
I wanna go to scream to the world
What you mean to my soul
It seems clear bright and bold,
But i still wont do what I'm told.
My feet will never touch the ground
whether I'm sinking or air bound
It's rather inconsequential now
But I want my heart to be found!
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Why, Oh Why?
There's light from birth that life will grow and reach towards the sky
with innocence and freedom as we view the sweet crane fly.
The moon and stars will cradle soft this gentleness so young
and all the earth hums wondrous song, new branch of life has sprung.
Then why, oh why does growth become constrained and then ignored
when flickers of a dream lie dead, once ordered, now dischord.
For living will not end its path, but fight for breathing space
and stretch in searching for a home in fingered, hopeful trace.
That will to live is strong and bold and reaches sun to bloom
and even shoeless shuffles will refuse to be consumed.
What shame is this that we cannot show conscience for this state,
that has confined a home for some and inequality create.
The spirit is what cries to soar, be given just a chance
in stunted growth it yearns to be a part of mankind's dance.
At times the sighs are loud and clear as hope descends to dark,
just listen to the heartbeats as those whispers leave their mark.
with innocence and freedom as we view the sweet crane fly.
The moon and stars will cradle soft this gentleness so young
and all the earth hums wondrous song, new branch of life has sprung.
Then why, oh why does growth become constrained and then ignored
when flickers of a dream lie dead, once ordered, now dischord.
For living will not end its path, but fight for breathing space
and stretch in searching for a home in fingered, hopeful trace.
That will to live is strong and bold and reaches sun to bloom
and even shoeless shuffles will refuse to be consumed.
What shame is this that we cannot show conscience for this state,
that has confined a home for some and inequality create.
The spirit is what cries to soar, be given just a chance
in stunted growth it yearns to be a part of mankind's dance.
At times the sighs are loud and clear as hope descends to dark,
just listen to the heartbeats as those whispers leave their mark.
Adamant
The heart desperately in want
But the man still adamant
Thus the battle of resistance and want
The battle between the mind and the man
Here and there the heart tosses
Indecisive of all the choices
The heart and the man both counting their losses
Thus the whole is in disaccord
The more the man resists the urges
The more the heart ahead forges
Thus going back and fort
Off and on like Christmas lighting
The heart has at last won
And the time to love is come
Don’t prolong my stay in the cold
For now it hurts more, now that you know
But the man still adamant
Thus the battle of resistance and want
The battle between the mind and the man
Here and there the heart tosses
Indecisive of all the choices
The heart and the man both counting their losses
Thus the whole is in disaccord
The more the man resists the urges
The more the heart ahead forges
Thus going back and fort
Off and on like Christmas lighting
The heart has at last won
And the time to love is come
Don’t prolong my stay in the cold
For now it hurts more, now that you know
I Wanna Be Happy
I wanna be happy
I just wanna smile
I wanna live a dream
Even if it only lasts a little while
I wanna live my life
I wanna travel the world
Find me a love
Some day man and wife
I can't deny my pain
People always say
There's love to gain
Well I've been waiting around
But love wont find me
Love ain't blind
But it don't see me
Is it all hopeless?
Is it all worthless?
Am I trying too hard?
Am I not trying enough?
You see, this life
Is getting tough
This life
Is getting rough
And all I wanna be is happy
Is that too much to ask?
There's so much beauty
Behind this mask
But there's only two
That have seen it;
One: well he's gone now
Two: I might be leaving soon
But I just wanna be happy
I just wanna smile
I wanna live a dream
Even if it only lasts a little while
I wanna live my life
I wanna travel the world
Find me a love
Some day man and wife
I can't deny my pain
People always say
There's love to gain
Well I've been waiting around
But love wont find me
Love ain't blind
But it don't see me
Is it all hopeless?
Is it all worthless?
Am I trying too hard?
Am I not trying enough?
You see, this life
Is getting tough
This life
Is getting rough
And all I wanna be is happy
Is that too much to ask?
There's so much beauty
Behind this mask
But there's only two
That have seen it;
One: well he's gone now
Two: I might be leaving soon
But I just wanna be happy
Never Ever
Never say "I Love You"
If you don't really care
Never talk about feelings
If they aren't really there
Never hold my hand
If you are going to break my heart
Never say you are going to,
If you know you're not even planning to start
Never look into my eyes
If all you'll do is lie
Never say hi
If you really mean goodbye
Never say you will try
Never say forever
NEVER
EVER
If you don't really care
Never talk about feelings
If they aren't really there
Never hold my hand
If you are going to break my heart
Never say you are going to,
If you know you're not even planning to start
Never look into my eyes
If all you'll do is lie
Never say hi
If you really mean goodbye
Never say you will try
Never say forever
NEVER
EVER
The Sad Sun
With dark clouds of damp and grey
and winds that freeze ones bone,
the bright sun of yesterday
is pale and sad upon his throne
for onto the world the raindrops fall
and with them comes the cold,
with each tear that strikes the fertile ground
his frustration grows twofold
Alone that night on his golden chair
out to the moon he calls,
that he might look upon her silver hair
and watch her prance across his hall.
Obediently she comes to him
dressed in radiant white,
so he bade to him she sing
and danced for his delight
A simple bow, she courtesies
and walks across the floor
for the sun, her lord, to cheer
she would dance forever more.
As she starts to sing,
she takes a graceful stance
here moonrise should begin
she starts her timeless dance
For hours she twirls and spins
darting from left to right
and such sweet melodies she sings
of silver doves in flight
The sun, it seems, is quite content
his woes of rain have gone away
he smiles in pure merriment
of a bright new day
and winds that freeze ones bone,
the bright sun of yesterday
is pale and sad upon his throne
for onto the world the raindrops fall
and with them comes the cold,
with each tear that strikes the fertile ground
his frustration grows twofold
Alone that night on his golden chair
out to the moon he calls,
that he might look upon her silver hair
and watch her prance across his hall.
Obediently she comes to him
dressed in radiant white,
so he bade to him she sing
and danced for his delight
A simple bow, she courtesies
and walks across the floor
for the sun, her lord, to cheer
she would dance forever more.
As she starts to sing,
she takes a graceful stance
here moonrise should begin
she starts her timeless dance
For hours she twirls and spins
darting from left to right
and such sweet melodies she sings
of silver doves in flight
The sun, it seems, is quite content
his woes of rain have gone away
he smiles in pure merriment
of a bright new day
Stolen
I strive for perfectionism,
Sweet greed clouded thoughts.
The love I surrendered to,
Withers and rots.
Coursing through my veins,
a feeling so surreal.
It's forgotten in the past
because I hide the way I feel.
My desire to not fit in,
has left me all alone.
It's left my life spinning,
Trapped in a cyclone.
The embrace I long for,
Never comes my way.
The wind which drives it south,
Carries it away.
Caught by a stranger,
Held within his grasp.
Protecting all that love,
Tightly in his clasp.
He who holds it tight,
Never lets it go.
I wonder if he's right for me?
I guess I'll never know.
Sweet greed clouded thoughts.
The love I surrendered to,
Withers and rots.
Coursing through my veins,
a feeling so surreal.
It's forgotten in the past
because I hide the way I feel.
My desire to not fit in,
has left me all alone.
It's left my life spinning,
Trapped in a cyclone.
The embrace I long for,
Never comes my way.
The wind which drives it south,
Carries it away.
Caught by a stranger,
Held within his grasp.
Protecting all that love,
Tightly in his clasp.
He who holds it tight,
Never lets it go.
I wonder if he's right for me?
I guess I'll never know.
Impuissant
You caught me by surprise,
with your young and brotherly stare
you said all the right words,
but your timing leaves me gasping for air.
Mouth to mouth
I breathe you in again,
But in hindsight,
You beat me
With hands round my throat
I love you, but hate me more.
Within your clothes you're so mesmorizing,
And your kiss is paralyzing
With a taste of past, present, and future
And I wonder what's beneath your garments
And behind your dreams.
You cover your face
With a mask of strength and ego
And charisma cascades from you
Like long unwinding rivers
Flowing and gliding effortlessly with the stubborn breeze.
As a young innocent child
I loved to playfully hold you
And feel us both hide the seriousness
I always loved our long walks and talks
Your advice that always worked
Now we've grown older,
And I've grown curious and careless,
My greedy eyes long to undress you
And my hands love to explore you
To know your every detail
To appreciate your intimacy.
You smiled and invited me to,
With a mysterious glow in your eyes,
Seducing me with divine alure
Excitedly I removed every veil,
But fell away, shocked and lost in horror.
Your face quickly changed
From happiness to anger
And I saw the many scars and burns
They covered your extremities;
You cried out
"I've been bought and sold so many times
Beaten, pushed and shoved,
And after all this madness
You still find me beautiful?"
with your young and brotherly stare
you said all the right words,
but your timing leaves me gasping for air.
Mouth to mouth
I breathe you in again,
But in hindsight,
You beat me
With hands round my throat
I love you, but hate me more.
Within your clothes you're so mesmorizing,
And your kiss is paralyzing
With a taste of past, present, and future
And I wonder what's beneath your garments
And behind your dreams.
You cover your face
With a mask of strength and ego
And charisma cascades from you
Like long unwinding rivers
Flowing and gliding effortlessly with the stubborn breeze.
As a young innocent child
I loved to playfully hold you
And feel us both hide the seriousness
I always loved our long walks and talks
Your advice that always worked
Now we've grown older,
And I've grown curious and careless,
My greedy eyes long to undress you
And my hands love to explore you
To know your every detail
To appreciate your intimacy.
You smiled and invited me to,
With a mysterious glow in your eyes,
Seducing me with divine alure
Excitedly I removed every veil,
But fell away, shocked and lost in horror.
Your face quickly changed
From happiness to anger
And I saw the many scars and burns
They covered your extremities;
You cried out
"I've been bought and sold so many times
Beaten, pushed and shoved,
And after all this madness
You still find me beautiful?"
If Only You Asked...
I'd sacrifice anything for you
I'd bring you the sun in a basket
I'd give you the moon in a ring
I'd tear down the sky
Just so you could see the stars
I'll treat you like a king
Oh yes, I'll treat you very nice
I'll bring you lots of jewels
Pearls, Rubies, and Diamonds clear as ice
I'll give you all I have
No matter how little I possess
I'll give you my last silver coin
I've give you the earth on a necklace
But when I am far
Keep me in you're heart
And keep this in your mind
Forget
About
Me
I
Love
You
I'd bring you the sun in a basket
I'd give you the moon in a ring
I'd tear down the sky
Just so you could see the stars
I'll treat you like a king
Oh yes, I'll treat you very nice
I'll bring you lots of jewels
Pearls, Rubies, and Diamonds clear as ice
I'll give you all I have
No matter how little I possess
I'll give you my last silver coin
I've give you the earth on a necklace
But when I am far
Keep me in you're heart
And keep this in your mind
Forget
About
Me
I
Love
You
I
"I don't deserve you"
The thought reverberates in my mind,
I've been frantically searching,
You I never thought I would find...
But I HAVE found you,
And my heart sings a joyous song.
While my mind whispers dark thoughts,
Saying it won't be for long.
I want to believe,
I want to keep hope in us, in you,
It's just so hard with my past,
After all I've been through.
I need this. I need you.
I'm just afraid my mind will get in the way,
As it has so many times before...
So I try to just say what I need to say..
So if I seem forward, or a little too blunt,
Please realize it's because I must.
It's the only way I can live anymore,
The only way I can rebuild trust.
The thought reverberates in my mind,
I've been frantically searching,
You I never thought I would find...
But I HAVE found you,
And my heart sings a joyous song.
While my mind whispers dark thoughts,
Saying it won't be for long.
I want to believe,
I want to keep hope in us, in you,
It's just so hard with my past,
After all I've been through.
I need this. I need you.
I'm just afraid my mind will get in the way,
As it has so many times before...
So I try to just say what I need to say..
So if I seem forward, or a little too blunt,
Please realize it's because I must.
It's the only way I can live anymore,
The only way I can rebuild trust.
Heaven Sent. Hell Bound.
Heaven sent but always hell bound
I'm the girl whose soul was lost but never found
People love me and hate me, each has their seasons
They feel things for me without really knowing the reasons
Is it because I am and always will be
This person that is simply just me
A girl sent from heaven but destined for hell
Living without a soul, I'm an empty shell
Always looking but never really seeing
Destined to remain here without really being
Seeing the world through my own blind eyes
Forever messing up all of my second tries
Am I really alive or just dead inside?
An empty shell in which people confide
The keeper of secrets but never more
I guess that's all that I'm really here for
Would anyone miss me if tonight I just died?
Would anyone acknowledge that I really tried?
I'll pass quietly from this world without a sound
For I'm simply heaven sent but always hell bound.
I'm the girl whose soul was lost but never found
People love me and hate me, each has their seasons
They feel things for me without really knowing the reasons
Is it because I am and always will be
This person that is simply just me
A girl sent from heaven but destined for hell
Living without a soul, I'm an empty shell
Always looking but never really seeing
Destined to remain here without really being
Seeing the world through my own blind eyes
Forever messing up all of my second tries
Am I really alive or just dead inside?
An empty shell in which people confide
The keeper of secrets but never more
I guess that's all that I'm really here for
Would anyone miss me if tonight I just died?
Would anyone acknowledge that I really tried?
I'll pass quietly from this world without a sound
For I'm simply heaven sent but always hell bound.
And I Wonder
I'd sacrifice anything for you
I'd bring you the sun in a basket
I'd give you the moon in a ring
I'd tear down the sky
Just so you could see the stars
I'll treat you like a king
Oh yes, I'll treat you very nice
I'll bring you lots of jewels
Pearls, Rubies, and Diamonds clear as ice
I'll give you all I have
No matter how little I possess
I'll give you my last silver coin
I've give you the earth on a necklace
But when I am far
Keep me in you're heart
And keep this in your mind
Forget
About
Me
I
Love
You
I'd bring you the sun in a basket
I'd give you the moon in a ring
I'd tear down the sky
Just so you could see the stars
I'll treat you like a king
Oh yes, I'll treat you very nice
I'll bring you lots of jewels
Pearls, Rubies, and Diamonds clear as ice
I'll give you all I have
No matter how little I possess
I'll give you my last silver coin
I've give you the earth on a necklace
But when I am far
Keep me in you're heart
And keep this in your mind
Forget
About
Me
I
Love
You
The Course of True Love Never Ran Smooth
The night is cold tonight
And I feel hollow and cracked
The night has blocked my sight
And I see no source of light…
My head aches
and my stomach churns
because of what
has occurred.
One-thousand whispers
run through my head
as I think of what
has occurred.
When I close my eyes
I see two broken hearts
Sitting on a bench
as they watch
the sunset.
They know not when or if
the sun will rise again.
For they each have
the others fingerprints
along their cracks and
they feel alone and
distant…
For the course of True Love never ran smooth…
And I feel hollow and cracked
The night has blocked my sight
And I see no source of light…
My head aches
and my stomach churns
because of what
has occurred.
One-thousand whispers
run through my head
as I think of what
has occurred.
When I close my eyes
I see two broken hearts
Sitting on a bench
as they watch
the sunset.
They know not when or if
the sun will rise again.
For they each have
the others fingerprints
along their cracks and
they feel alone and
distant…
For the course of True Love never ran smooth…
Awake
I am lost within myself
floating in a universe unknown
cruel tides whipping me about
as a leaf upon the ocean
I cannot free myself, my hands are bound
there is no key to this unholy dimension
is it my fate to suffer here as eternity
stays just beyond my fragile reach?
It is not safe for me to close my eyes
for despair strikes swift and sure
bringing me here to this painful void
where hope is but a glimmer in the stars
My mind thrashes within terrible memories
crying for relief, time is frozen in this place
where love is a figment of the imagination
shredded and bare I am weeping for what is lost
Absorbing regret as a sponge takes water
why does anger thrive against innocence
Will it dissipate with age or does it reside
in the soul of youth for eternity?
How long must I wait for a hand to pull me out
A life line lured down within the madness
to be rescued from the screaming blood
of the ones who wish to see my demise
Can I hold on until this dream plays out
will this theatrical horror reside forever?
I need to find the sanctuary that lies
somewhere in the depths of my soul
I am shivering from cold that never ends
my skin is slick from a sweat that strikes
the weak and frightened, my eyes open
It is then I understand, I see everything
I have been awake all this time........
floating in a universe unknown
cruel tides whipping me about
as a leaf upon the ocean
I cannot free myself, my hands are bound
there is no key to this unholy dimension
is it my fate to suffer here as eternity
stays just beyond my fragile reach?
It is not safe for me to close my eyes
for despair strikes swift and sure
bringing me here to this painful void
where hope is but a glimmer in the stars
My mind thrashes within terrible memories
crying for relief, time is frozen in this place
where love is a figment of the imagination
shredded and bare I am weeping for what is lost
Absorbing regret as a sponge takes water
why does anger thrive against innocence
Will it dissipate with age or does it reside
in the soul of youth for eternity?
How long must I wait for a hand to pull me out
A life line lured down within the madness
to be rescued from the screaming blood
of the ones who wish to see my demise
Can I hold on until this dream plays out
will this theatrical horror reside forever?
I need to find the sanctuary that lies
somewhere in the depths of my soul
I am shivering from cold that never ends
my skin is slick from a sweat that strikes
the weak and frightened, my eyes open
It is then I understand, I see everything
I have been awake all this time........
Forgotton Secret
Forget what you ever thought you knew about me.
You know nothing:
I've got secrets that could eat away
At your insides
And make the most mentally- sound,
Insane.
My secret is fatally gorgeous:
I'd die for you
But in this Bonnie and Clyde kind of romance
Tell me what would you do?
Inside the future of a shattered past
I'd die just to be real, and I'd die just to feel
Why do the same old things keep on happening?
Because beyond my hopes, there are no feelings.
DO NOT fall in love with me,
It will only cause you complete heartache
And in the end, I myself, am tired
Of getting hurt.
My friends are amazing.
They are few and far between,
And I like it that way,
I can truthfully say that
Within my lifetime, I have left pieces
of my heart here and there
But no one will ever compare to
the one closest to my heart
You know nothing:
I've got secrets that could eat away
At your insides
And make the most mentally- sound,
Insane.
My secret is fatally gorgeous:
I'd die for you
But in this Bonnie and Clyde kind of romance
Tell me what would you do?
Inside the future of a shattered past
I'd die just to be real, and I'd die just to feel
Why do the same old things keep on happening?
Because beyond my hopes, there are no feelings.
DO NOT fall in love with me,
It will only cause you complete heartache
And in the end, I myself, am tired
Of getting hurt.
My friends are amazing.
They are few and far between,
And I like it that way,
I can truthfully say that
Within my lifetime, I have left pieces
of my heart here and there
But no one will ever compare to
the one closest to my heart
too tired to think of a title....
the world is a twisted place
where people can vanish without a trace
all pretending to be someone they are not
to the point that their soul is ready to rot
masks we wear from day to day
just so our feelings we dont have to say
everyone different yet so much the same
all playing along with this cruel game:
some may be hurt but thats just fine
"as long as that life lost isn't mine"
so we all float by clinging to this sinking raft
just so we don't appear the least bite daft
so as days fade in and go crashing out
who will break the chain, and take a different route?
life can be lovely, full of beauty and dreams
yet underneath there can still be silent screams
where people can vanish without a trace
all pretending to be someone they are not
to the point that their soul is ready to rot
masks we wear from day to day
just so our feelings we dont have to say
everyone different yet so much the same
all playing along with this cruel game:
some may be hurt but thats just fine
"as long as that life lost isn't mine"
so we all float by clinging to this sinking raft
just so we don't appear the least bite daft
so as days fade in and go crashing out
who will break the chain, and take a different route?
life can be lovely, full of beauty and dreams
yet underneath there can still be silent screams
Cold... With A Chance Of Suicide/ Rainy... With A Chance Of Death
Everyone Hates Me, Needless To Say
Everyone Hates Me, They Won't Go Away
What Do I Do? Do I Laugh? Do I Cry?
Do I Just Live? Or Do I Just Plain Die?
The Weather Is Cold With A Chance Of Suicide
I'm Just So Confused. I Just Can't Decide
Society Shows Us What We Are
Society's Hate Leads Us To War
Everyone Hates Me And I Don't Really Care
I'm Just A Person, But They're Not Aware
I Have Friends Who Are Willing To Leave
I Have A Love He's Refusing To Receive
They Didn't Give It. So Why Should I?
They Didnt' Give It. They Just Gave A Lie
I Am Labeled As A Heartbreaker. Me = Lame
But Is It My Fault? Why Am I To Blame?
Enemies Aren't Worth The Pointless Fight
Friends Stay And Leave. Nothings Alright.
Dying Leads To A Endless Joy
Our Life We Give To People As A Toy
They Tear Us Into Pieces. They Tear Us Apart
I Cut My Wrist, Just To Make My Own Work Of Art
I Stand Upon A Building. Letting Them See.
The Person I Am. The Person They Made Me
Its Rainy With A Chance Of Death
I Jump Off As I Take My Last Breath
You See Me Falling From The Sky
Its All Your Fault That I Had To Die.
Everyone Hates Me, They Won't Go Away
What Do I Do? Do I Laugh? Do I Cry?
Do I Just Live? Or Do I Just Plain Die?
The Weather Is Cold With A Chance Of Suicide
I'm Just So Confused. I Just Can't Decide
Society Shows Us What We Are
Society's Hate Leads Us To War
Everyone Hates Me And I Don't Really Care
I'm Just A Person, But They're Not Aware
I Have Friends Who Are Willing To Leave
I Have A Love He's Refusing To Receive
They Didn't Give It. So Why Should I?
They Didnt' Give It. They Just Gave A Lie
I Am Labeled As A Heartbreaker. Me = Lame
But Is It My Fault? Why Am I To Blame?
Enemies Aren't Worth The Pointless Fight
Friends Stay And Leave. Nothings Alright.
Dying Leads To A Endless Joy
Our Life We Give To People As A Toy
They Tear Us Into Pieces. They Tear Us Apart
I Cut My Wrist, Just To Make My Own Work Of Art
I Stand Upon A Building. Letting Them See.
The Person I Am. The Person They Made Me
Its Rainy With A Chance Of Death
I Jump Off As I Take My Last Breath
You See Me Falling From The Sky
Its All Your Fault That I Had To Die.
If Wishes = Raindrops.
If wishes = raindrops?
I’d wish I could save every lost soul like me,
From the pain and suffering people can bring,
And stop them losing faith in fairy tales and wishes,
Why can’t people open there eyes and see,
When there is innocence being lost.
Before it’s too late to wash away with hugs and kisses.
If wishes = raindrops?
I’d wish for those that have suffered not to take the blame,
We all say it was something we must have done, I do it.
In my heart I now it’s not, but in my head it’s a constant battle,
Why can’t there be justice for those who’ve lost their spirit,
When will they ever face the consequences for the damage?
Before the person they used to be is nowhere to be found.
If wishes = raindrops?
I’d wish I could tell everyone I came through it strong,
But the truth is the memories never leave and I still ache,
I still wish everyday to have freedom from this pain.
I’d wish I could save every lost soul like me,
From the pain and suffering people can bring,
And stop them losing faith in fairy tales and wishes,
Why can’t people open there eyes and see,
When there is innocence being lost.
Before it’s too late to wash away with hugs and kisses.
If wishes = raindrops?
I’d wish for those that have suffered not to take the blame,
We all say it was something we must have done, I do it.
In my heart I now it’s not, but in my head it’s a constant battle,
Why can’t there be justice for those who’ve lost their spirit,
When will they ever face the consequences for the damage?
Before the person they used to be is nowhere to be found.
If wishes = raindrops?
I’d wish I could tell everyone I came through it strong,
But the truth is the memories never leave and I still ache,
I still wish everyday to have freedom from this pain.
Like the ultimate drug...You always work for me.
When I open up to you
You always tell me my life’s not tough
You’re always there when I feel unease
Keeping my mind and body at ease
Like the ultimate drug
You always work for me
You lend me your ears
And comfort me through my tears
You’re my rock, my hope
Without you I couldn't cope
Like the ultimate drug
You always work for me
Its been a bitch of a week
And you’re the friend I always seek
And no matter what, I know
You’re my only best friend so…
Like the ultimate drug
You always work for me
Self hatred bleeds
You taught me to love and gave me needs
I feel affection and I know you feel the same too
So this one yours, it goes out to you
Like the ultimate drug
You always work for me
Shining in your encouragement
Is a perfect example of content
Whether you're being an angel or a little devil
You are so totally on my Level
Like the ultimate drug
You always work for me
"A best friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and sings it to you when you forget the words"
You always tell me my life’s not tough
You’re always there when I feel unease
Keeping my mind and body at ease
Like the ultimate drug
You always work for me
You lend me your ears
And comfort me through my tears
You’re my rock, my hope
Without you I couldn't cope
Like the ultimate drug
You always work for me
Its been a bitch of a week
And you’re the friend I always seek
And no matter what, I know
You’re my only best friend so…
Like the ultimate drug
You always work for me
Self hatred bleeds
You taught me to love and gave me needs
I feel affection and I know you feel the same too
So this one yours, it goes out to you
Like the ultimate drug
You always work for me
Shining in your encouragement
Is a perfect example of content
Whether you're being an angel or a little devil
You are so totally on my Level
Like the ultimate drug
You always work for me
"A best friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and sings it to you when you forget the words"
?
i look in the mirror and what do i see
i see a stanger staring back me
who is she behind that glass
or is me beinhd a mask
i see the fakeness of it all
with every tear that shall fall
her lies are coming clean
her unseen secrets can now be seen
you look at her
what do you see
you see the happy girl that is me
but what if i told you that it was all a lie
what if i told you every night i cry
i see my eyes running with black
with feelings and empathy i may lack
anger flushes through my vain
temperature rises
feelings of going insane
my world is spining out of control
i feel blackend with out a soul
who is this thing staring back at me
covered in blood and lies
mascara tears she cries
with her painted on smile
i see a stanger staring back me
who is she behind that glass
or is me beinhd a mask
i see the fakeness of it all
with every tear that shall fall
her lies are coming clean
her unseen secrets can now be seen
you look at her
what do you see
you see the happy girl that is me
but what if i told you that it was all a lie
what if i told you every night i cry
i see my eyes running with black
with feelings and empathy i may lack
anger flushes through my vain
temperature rises
feelings of going insane
my world is spining out of control
i feel blackend with out a soul
who is this thing staring back at me
covered in blood and lies
mascara tears she cries
with her painted on smile
How Time Flies
Summer day, winter breeze
The light flies by like a moments tease
The world turns around, weathers fog
The wings of an angel, like the tail of a dog
The time goes by, lifes leaves
Like the spring time morning breeze
The days come, the days go
The grass will stay for us to mow
Autumn rolls around, then winter snow
Then the gardens seeds begin to grow
Spring brings drops of rain, summer brings heat and glow
Then the weather hits an all time low
The world turns and binds
O My! How time flies!
The light flies by like a moments tease
The world turns around, weathers fog
The wings of an angel, like the tail of a dog
The time goes by, lifes leaves
Like the spring time morning breeze
The days come, the days go
The grass will stay for us to mow
Autumn rolls around, then winter snow
Then the gardens seeds begin to grow
Spring brings drops of rain, summer brings heat and glow
Then the weather hits an all time low
The world turns and binds
O My! How time flies!
It's The Little Things!!!
God must have known
there would be times
i'd need a word of cheer,
Someone to praise a triumph
or brush away a tear.
He must have known
i'd need to share
the joy of little things
In order to appreciate
the happiness that life brings.
I think He knew
my troubled heart
would sometimes
throb in pain,
At trials and misfortunes
or goals i can't attain.
He knew i'd need
the comfort
of an understanding heart
To give me strength and courage
to make a fresh, new start.
He knew i'd need companionship,
unselfish and lasting through,
And so God answered
my heart's great need
with a cherished friend
like you!
there would be times
i'd need a word of cheer,
Someone to praise a triumph
or brush away a tear.
He must have known
i'd need to share
the joy of little things
In order to appreciate
the happiness that life brings.
I think He knew
my troubled heart
would sometimes
throb in pain,
At trials and misfortunes
or goals i can't attain.
He knew i'd need
the comfort
of an understanding heart
To give me strength and courage
to make a fresh, new start.
He knew i'd need companionship,
unselfish and lasting through,
And so God answered
my heart's great need
with a cherished friend
like you!
My Love For The Summer
summer...
such a small, simple word.
yet is filled with loveliness
from the warm air to the soaring birds.
yet summer is summer
pools get filled and less clothing is worn.
but this particular summer...
a new love was born.
i loved him from first sight
yet didn't know till i was free.
till my boyfriend became an ex
till it was just him and me.
my love for him was discovered
my heart was shown to those who looked.
and when the kiss of a lifetime came
the passion was incredible, i now was hooked.
this boys voice was the soundtrack of my summer
his brown eyes so intensely deep.
all i wanted was his warm hug
this boy was surely mine to keep.
last summer is now over
yet this boy is still mine to crave.
even though im now freezing in Scotland
and how dead are the waves.
last summer i found love
yet to find me back is unknown.
last summer i lived
and was far from alone...
such a small, simple word.
yet is filled with loveliness
from the warm air to the soaring birds.
yet summer is summer
pools get filled and less clothing is worn.
but this particular summer...
a new love was born.
i loved him from first sight
yet didn't know till i was free.
till my boyfriend became an ex
till it was just him and me.
my love for him was discovered
my heart was shown to those who looked.
and when the kiss of a lifetime came
the passion was incredible, i now was hooked.
this boys voice was the soundtrack of my summer
his brown eyes so intensely deep.
all i wanted was his warm hug
this boy was surely mine to keep.
last summer is now over
yet this boy is still mine to crave.
even though im now freezing in Scotland
and how dead are the waves.
last summer i found love
yet to find me back is unknown.
last summer i lived
and was far from alone...
A Rolling Stone Gathers No moss.... Right?
Sitting here thinking
About what feels like a lifetime ago:
I guess it’s the price I have to pay
For being like this...
...For being me
A rolling stone gathers no moss
It’s the best thing I've ever heard
I live by it
and mostly, I love by it
And look at where it's gotten me
But then I think about where it hasn't gotten me
No broken hearts
No tears
No feeling vulnerable
But then I think deeper about what it hasn't gotten me:
A long term relationship
Long term friends
A place I've lived in long enough to call home
Things to call mine
But still....
A rolling stone gathers no moss.... Right?
About what feels like a lifetime ago:
I guess it’s the price I have to pay
For being like this...
...For being me
A rolling stone gathers no moss
It’s the best thing I've ever heard
I live by it
and mostly, I love by it
And look at where it's gotten me
But then I think about where it hasn't gotten me
No broken hearts
No tears
No feeling vulnerable
But then I think deeper about what it hasn't gotten me:
A long term relationship
Long term friends
A place I've lived in long enough to call home
Things to call mine
But still....
A rolling stone gathers no moss.... Right?
Thank You
Its amazing how the human heart can love,
How wonderful God can send us compassion from above,
The hardships we face can make our happiness lack,
Only to find out that in time we get it back,
I'm trying to remember that this is true,
Especially during the times I am blue,
Sometimes I wish that we wouldn't bend,
Sometimes I wish the tears would end,
If I could collect my tears they would be a lake,
I seriously don't know how much more of this I can take,
But I'm trying to numb all of the pain,
Make the tears stop as well as the rain,
Please my friends, be happy for today,
For all I know tomorrow could be gray,
But I always know that there is always hope,
For Hope & Friends help me to cope.
Hope, friends, Kojo's blog, Alvin's poems, and Chris's run dis town memories help me to cope!
And for that... Thank You.
How wonderful God can send us compassion from above,
The hardships we face can make our happiness lack,
Only to find out that in time we get it back,
I'm trying to remember that this is true,
Especially during the times I am blue,
Sometimes I wish that we wouldn't bend,
Sometimes I wish the tears would end,
If I could collect my tears they would be a lake,
I seriously don't know how much more of this I can take,
But I'm trying to numb all of the pain,
Make the tears stop as well as the rain,
Please my friends, be happy for today,
For all I know tomorrow could be gray,
But I always know that there is always hope,
For Hope & Friends help me to cope.
Hope, friends, Kojo's blog, Alvin's poems, and Chris's run dis town memories help me to cope!
And for that... Thank You.
Last December
Last December I took my heart out
And gave it to you as a gift.
Wrapped in my trust and desire,
Sealed with your nonexistent kiss.
With each beat it feels for you,
And with every painful urge,
Another piece breaks in two
And is gone; not seen nor heard.
So I leave you now,
Distract me from the tears
That are filling up in my eyes
Distract me from the world
And what's going on
Distract me from everything
Creating things going wrong
Just distract me from this...
....This "gift"
I can't handle it
I honestly thought I could
But now when it's coming down hardest
I just can't
I honestly can't
Distract me,
just,
Distract me
It's all that I need
Last December I took my heart out
And gave it to you as a gift.
Wrapped in my trust and desire,
Sealed with your nonexistent kiss.
I beg of you not to break it,
For it's already falling apart.
I have left my all with you,
My love, my hope, my heart.
And gave it to you as a gift.
Wrapped in my trust and desire,
Sealed with your nonexistent kiss.
With each beat it feels for you,
And with every painful urge,
Another piece breaks in two
And is gone; not seen nor heard.
So I leave you now,
Distract me from the tears
That are filling up in my eyes
Distract me from the world
And what's going on
Distract me from everything
Creating things going wrong
Just distract me from this...
....This "gift"
I can't handle it
I honestly thought I could
But now when it's coming down hardest
I just can't
I honestly can't
Distract me,
just,
Distract me
It's all that I need
Last December I took my heart out
And gave it to you as a gift.
Wrapped in my trust and desire,
Sealed with your nonexistent kiss.
I beg of you not to break it,
For it's already falling apart.
I have left my all with you,
My love, my hope, my heart.
...If I Am Worth Saving
In my head there's only you now
These arguements are just falling on me
In this world there's real and fake
And this feels real to me, ok?
You love me but do you know who I am?
Im torn between a life I lead and where I stand
How can this love be a good thing
If only I know what im going through?
Heavens gates will not open up for me
On these hands and knees i'm crawling
These iron bars will not hold my soul in anymore
And through it all, I reach for you
You see, Im terrified of these four walls I've built
And all I need is you
So please, Im calling.
Say it to me
Say it to me
And i'll leave this lifestyle behind
Say it to me...
...If it's worth saving
me
So unimpressed, yet so in awe
Such a saint, yet such a whore
So self aware, yet so full of shit
So indecisive, yet so adamant
So rock and roll, yet so corporate suit
So damn ugly, yet so damn cute
So well trained,yet so animal
But still, say it to me...
...If it's worth saving me.
And ill show you what I can be.
These arguements are just falling on me
In this world there's real and fake
And this feels real to me, ok?
You love me but do you know who I am?
Im torn between a life I lead and where I stand
How can this love be a good thing
If only I know what im going through?
Heavens gates will not open up for me
On these hands and knees i'm crawling
These iron bars will not hold my soul in anymore
And through it all, I reach for you
You see, Im terrified of these four walls I've built
And all I need is you
So please, Im calling.
Say it to me
Say it to me
And i'll leave this lifestyle behind
Say it to me...
...If it's worth saving
me
So unimpressed, yet so in awe
Such a saint, yet such a whore
So self aware, yet so full of shit
So indecisive, yet so adamant
So rock and roll, yet so corporate suit
So damn ugly, yet so damn cute
So well trained,yet so animal
But still, say it to me...
...If it's worth saving me.
And ill show you what I can be.
How I Make It Through
The scars I keep behind these eyes
Hide more than they reveal
They tell the story written on
Emotions both stark and real
And if I keep them to myself
It's what I often do
It's how I make it through the day
It's how I make it through
Some scars hide the deepest pain
While others are like a scratch
Some weep with tears of flowing blood
That no reservoir could catch
Some scars are more like an itch
That irritate through and through
That's why I keep them bound up tight
It's how I make it through
These scars I wear behind my eyes
Are always hidden deep
It's where they fester in the dark
And only come out when I sleep
I always keep them here in check
It's what I always do
That way I know and how to act
It always gets me through...
Hide more than they reveal
They tell the story written on
Emotions both stark and real
And if I keep them to myself
It's what I often do
It's how I make it through the day
It's how I make it through
Some scars hide the deepest pain
While others are like a scratch
Some weep with tears of flowing blood
That no reservoir could catch
Some scars are more like an itch
That irritate through and through
That's why I keep them bound up tight
It's how I make it through
These scars I wear behind my eyes
Are always hidden deep
It's where they fester in the dark
And only come out when I sleep
I always keep them here in check
It's what I always do
That way I know and how to act
It always gets me through...
Obsession.Lust.Insanity.
You say that you love me;
how do you know?
Do you toss in your bed because you can't wait to see me?
Could you spend hours watching me breathe,
knowing that one day my body will be limp?
I think maybe a better word is... Obsession.
You say that you love me;
how do you feel?
Does your stomach do butterflies when you see me?
Do you crave my lips?
I think maybe a better word is... Lust.
You say that you love me;
how can you confirm it?
Are you willing to kill for me?
Would you die in my place?
I think maybe a better word is... Insanity.
how do you know?
Do you toss in your bed because you can't wait to see me?
Could you spend hours watching me breathe,
knowing that one day my body will be limp?
I think maybe a better word is... Obsession.
You say that you love me;
how do you feel?
Does your stomach do butterflies when you see me?
Do you crave my lips?
I think maybe a better word is... Lust.
You say that you love me;
how can you confirm it?
Are you willing to kill for me?
Would you die in my place?
I think maybe a better word is... Insanity.
Lets Runaway
Can we run like vampires from a thousand burning suns?
Even if we should stay,
Darling, we both just need to get away.
Lets runaway?
And as for the closets filled up to the brim
with our skeletons and the ghosts of our past
Lets leave them all behind.
Lets get away?
Maybe, we can save ourselves before it's to late for us.
And me and you.
Lets runaway?
Even if we should stay,
Darling, we both just need to get away.
Lets runaway?
And as for the closets filled up to the brim
with our skeletons and the ghosts of our past
Lets leave them all behind.
Lets get away?
Maybe, we can save ourselves before it's to late for us.
And me and you.
Lets runaway?
Secret Dream
Secret thoughts.
Secret fantasies
for seven years
lay unfulfilled.
Will never be fulfilled.
With one look.
Eyes that undress.
Hands that caress.
Unspoken words
of unspoken desire.
Come to my door.
Come with a kiss.
I never knew
that I would feel like this.
It's only a dream.
I won't make it real.
Haven't you heard?
Princess's don't have to deal with reality.
They are in a world of their own.
Come
share a night with me.
A secret dream between us both.
When we wake
it will be like before.
Two best friends
that desire has entwined between.
Secret fantasies
for seven years
lay unfulfilled.
Will never be fulfilled.
With one look.
Eyes that undress.
Hands that caress.
Unspoken words
of unspoken desire.
Come to my door.
Come with a kiss.
I never knew
that I would feel like this.
It's only a dream.
I won't make it real.
Haven't you heard?
Princess's don't have to deal with reality.
They are in a world of their own.
Come
share a night with me.
A secret dream between us both.
When we wake
it will be like before.
Two best friends
that desire has entwined between.
Growing Up
As we grow up,
We learn that even the one person
That wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.
You will have your heart broken
Probably more than once
And it's harder every time.
You'll break hearts too,
So remember how it felt
When yours was broken.
You'll fight with your best friend.
You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.
You'll cry because time is passing too fast,
And you'll eventually lose someone you love.
So take too many pictures,
Laugh too much,
And love like you've never been hurt
Because every sixty seconds you spend upset
Is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.
Don't be afraid that your life will end,
Be afraid that it will never begin.
We learn that even the one person
That wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.
You will have your heart broken
Probably more than once
And it's harder every time.
You'll break hearts too,
So remember how it felt
When yours was broken.
You'll fight with your best friend.
You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.
You'll cry because time is passing too fast,
And you'll eventually lose someone you love.
So take too many pictures,
Laugh too much,
And love like you've never been hurt
Because every sixty seconds you spend upset
Is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.
Don't be afraid that your life will end,
Be afraid that it will never begin.
You served, You lived, You fought.
You served, you lived, you fought.
You watched the ones around you fall to the enemy's wrath.
Not knowing you, too, would go next.
To be leaving your loved ones, to protect us.
But before they could take you away.
You pushed on, you pushed on through the torches, through the horrors, and through the pain.
And the day before you left me you wrote this:
"Dear Lord, If I am wounded, on this once green but now bloodied field, I pray that you will send me courage, so my spirit will not yield, I pray that you will send an angel to guide me, towards the heavenly shore, And that the angel will hold me up, so I don't falter as I knock on heavens door, I pray that you will send strength to my girlfriend, who will have to face the world alone, And who I love more than life, I can now go into battle and lead my men, With my heart and mind at peace, Thank You Dear Lord. Amen"
You had stood salute to the British flag.
And to the flag laid upon the fallen.
As they soon after had done for you.
You watched the ones around you fall to the enemy's wrath.
Not knowing you, too, would go next.
To be leaving your loved ones, to protect us.
But before they could take you away.
You pushed on, you pushed on through the torches, through the horrors, and through the pain.
And the day before you left me you wrote this:
"Dear Lord, If I am wounded, on this once green but now bloodied field, I pray that you will send me courage, so my spirit will not yield, I pray that you will send an angel to guide me, towards the heavenly shore, And that the angel will hold me up, so I don't falter as I knock on heavens door, I pray that you will send strength to my girlfriend, who will have to face the world alone, And who I love more than life, I can now go into battle and lead my men, With my heart and mind at peace, Thank You Dear Lord. Amen"
You had stood salute to the British flag.
And to the flag laid upon the fallen.
As they soon after had done for you.
So Much Better!!!
I feel so much better now
away from the likes of you
I wasn't your type
and god knows your not mine
it's over now
thank god
too young to be tied down
to be annoyed every time I see your face
the way you treated me
wasn't right
I think you have problems
I want someone who knows how to treat a girl like me
someone who has their shit together
someone with ambition thats doing something with their life
and you just dropped outta uni.. wtf
everyone warned me about you
I took it on myself to make the decision
i've made the right one
this I know
i'm happy now
no longer stressed
but pissed at how you treated me
never made me feel important
never feel wanted
ima find a man that will
someone who i'm attracted to
someone who I have feelings for
someone who I dont have to force myself to like
but omdz the thought of you pisses me off
not only were you the worst fuck of my life
you didn't talk
didn't do anything
you just slept and ate
you didn't know a word longer than 2 syllables
you thought you knew everything
even when you were proved wrong
you annoyed me with everything you did
the way you eat is comical
you don't eat your food
you fucking attack it
it's embarrassing to be there with you
the way you walk makes you look like your retarded
you can find a girl (good luck)
I really think your retarded
I want someone smart
someone who I have things in common with
you couldn't make me happy even when you tried
that's why I went to others who could
not my fault your an asshole
I tried to tell you that we wern't meant to be
over and over I gave you hints
then started telling ou to your face
i was never happy while i was with you
well now I am happy
happy that i'm not with you
I can do whatever I want
that's what I want
your never what I wanted
a weight has been lifted off me
you are something that needed ditching a long time ago
away from the likes of you
I wasn't your type
and god knows your not mine
it's over now
thank god
too young to be tied down
to be annoyed every time I see your face
the way you treated me
wasn't right
I think you have problems
I want someone who knows how to treat a girl like me
someone who has their shit together
someone with ambition thats doing something with their life
and you just dropped outta uni.. wtf
everyone warned me about you
I took it on myself to make the decision
i've made the right one
this I know
i'm happy now
no longer stressed
but pissed at how you treated me
never made me feel important
never feel wanted
ima find a man that will
someone who i'm attracted to
someone who I have feelings for
someone who I dont have to force myself to like
but omdz the thought of you pisses me off
not only were you the worst fuck of my life
you didn't talk
didn't do anything
you just slept and ate
you didn't know a word longer than 2 syllables
you thought you knew everything
even when you were proved wrong
you annoyed me with everything you did
the way you eat is comical
you don't eat your food
you fucking attack it
it's embarrassing to be there with you
the way you walk makes you look like your retarded
you can find a girl (good luck)
I really think your retarded
I want someone smart
someone who I have things in common with
you couldn't make me happy even when you tried
that's why I went to others who could
not my fault your an asshole
I tried to tell you that we wern't meant to be
over and over I gave you hints
then started telling ou to your face
i was never happy while i was with you
well now I am happy
happy that i'm not with you
I can do whatever I want
that's what I want
your never what I wanted
a weight has been lifted off me
you are something that needed ditching a long time ago
How Can You?
I want to believe in everything that you say... Cos it sounds so good. But....
How can you say you love me,
Knowing that you don't?
How can you say you want to be with me,
Knowing that you won't?
How can you remain so calm,
Knowing you broke my heart?
How can you be like this,
Knowing what you did from the start?
How can you say it'll work out,
Knowing that's not what you believe?
How can you say all of this,
Knowing it's me that you deceive?
How can you say 'cheer up kid',
Knowing that the past 2 day crushed me?
How can you say 'chin up love',
Knowing you betrayed my trust?
How can you say this hurts you,
Knowing that's untrue?
How can you say you cry at night,
Knowing that I do?
How can you say you love me,
Knowing that's a lie?
How can you just leave me,
Knowing I would rather die?
How can you be my Baby,
Knowing you'll toss me aside?
How can I be your Darling,
Knowing how much I have cried?
Well I guess it doesn't matter now,
Knowing you don't care...
But you know I'll still pray at night,
Knowing that your here...
How can you say you love me,
Knowing that you don't?
How can you say you want to be with me,
Knowing that you won't?
How can you remain so calm,
Knowing you broke my heart?
How can you be like this,
Knowing what you did from the start?
How can you say it'll work out,
Knowing that's not what you believe?
How can you say all of this,
Knowing it's me that you deceive?
How can you say 'cheer up kid',
Knowing that the past 2 day crushed me?
How can you say 'chin up love',
Knowing you betrayed my trust?
How can you say this hurts you,
Knowing that's untrue?
How can you say you cry at night,
Knowing that I do?
How can you say you love me,
Knowing that's a lie?
How can you just leave me,
Knowing I would rather die?
How can you be my Baby,
Knowing you'll toss me aside?
How can I be your Darling,
Knowing how much I have cried?
Well I guess it doesn't matter now,
Knowing you don't care...
But you know I'll still pray at night,
Knowing that your here...
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Born to Live. Live to Die
I am Dying to Live
and Living to die
That's all life is.
Suicide.
Everybody tries and everybody dies
Everybody's bloody from everybody's lies
All I do is cry, call names and dry my eyes
Everything's the same, lame game it's no surprise
Whoever said
"It's better to live than just be Dead."
Has the wrong perfect little picture stuck in their head
Try saying that when you're fucking dead
I'd like to hear you say that when you're all just FUCKING DEAD!
Quench the Blood thirst, the second after the first verse
I disperse a rhyme curse to the grave
by the concept of Hearse, Hearse, Hearse
All I'm doing living when is
forgiving the lies we despise from fake gods
Corruption and religious frauds
My existence consists of booze
and all the drugs I use.
I've always been a winner
But now i'm about to lose
but that's the kind of life I choose.
It makes me wanna slit my throat and float up to the sky
My note's not dry, near soaked from my teary eyes.
The end of my life, my friends don't cry
Because the whole point of living is to Die.
So lets (not?) thank God for abortion!
Babies pain come in small portions.
For if they were born,
they'd be ripped and torn
From their mother and get to know none other
Than death if they got to know her.
The breath they owe her only kills them slower.
They'd never get to grow up,
Get drunk and throw up, out the window
Get married and leave their wife a widow
The life they know, knows the knife comes too slow
Beg to be more than eggs and sperm and now they have to go
If I died today would you care
or stare in disbelief
My death is in the breath
in all the air you breathe.
Would you be decieved or believe
I had a death contract
the second I'm concieved.
Genre's have their trends,
every porn star has their bends,
People have their friends
like beginnings have their ends.
I come from dirt, the only reason for birth
on this earth is to be hurt.
Reasons for birth I'm wasting my breath
Because the whole point of birth is DEATH.
"Those who are born die, but those who die are not always re-born"
and Living to die
That's all life is.
Suicide.
Everybody tries and everybody dies
Everybody's bloody from everybody's lies
All I do is cry, call names and dry my eyes
Everything's the same, lame game it's no surprise
Whoever said
"It's better to live than just be Dead."
Has the wrong perfect little picture stuck in their head
Try saying that when you're fucking dead
I'd like to hear you say that when you're all just FUCKING DEAD!
Quench the Blood thirst, the second after the first verse
I disperse a rhyme curse to the grave
by the concept of Hearse, Hearse, Hearse
All I'm doing living when is
forgiving the lies we despise from fake gods
Corruption and religious frauds
My existence consists of booze
and all the drugs I use.
I've always been a winner
But now i'm about to lose
but that's the kind of life I choose.
It makes me wanna slit my throat and float up to the sky
My note's not dry, near soaked from my teary eyes.
The end of my life, my friends don't cry
Because the whole point of living is to Die.
So lets (not?) thank God for abortion!
Babies pain come in small portions.
For if they were born,
they'd be ripped and torn
From their mother and get to know none other
Than death if they got to know her.
The breath they owe her only kills them slower.
They'd never get to grow up,
Get drunk and throw up, out the window
Get married and leave their wife a widow
The life they know, knows the knife comes too slow
Beg to be more than eggs and sperm and now they have to go
If I died today would you care
or stare in disbelief
My death is in the breath
in all the air you breathe.
Would you be decieved or believe
I had a death contract
the second I'm concieved.
Genre's have their trends,
every porn star has their bends,
People have their friends
like beginnings have their ends.
I come from dirt, the only reason for birth
on this earth is to be hurt.
Reasons for birth I'm wasting my breath
Because the whole point of birth is DEATH.
"Those who are born die, but those who die are not always re-born"
Dysthymia
I grieved. I wept. I Still Am.
Ripped the clothes I was wed to from my chest.
Screamed. Yearned, clawed
At those burial stones on my fingers
Till my hands bled.
Wretched his name
Over and again. Dead, dead.
Gone home. Gutted it.
Twitched in a single bed.
Two empty hands, white femurs blown in the dust.
But, only halves.
Shoved my black funeral dress into a black binbag
Shuffled round
Clutching silk shoes.
Noosed a tie around my empty neck.
Gaunt nun in the mirror
Touching Celibacy.
I learnt the stages of grief, photos of my face
In each of the frames. All those weeks
He was going away from me, dwindling
To the shrunk size of a snapshot, going, going
Till his name was no longer a word
The last hair of his head floated out from my sheets.
His scent left my bed and my home.
A will was read.
He even left me all rights to his body
Then he was vanished
Into the small zero of my ring.
R.I.P.
Ripped the clothes I was wed to from my chest.
Screamed. Yearned, clawed
At those burial stones on my fingers
Till my hands bled.
Wretched his name
Over and again. Dead, dead.
Gone home. Gutted it.
Twitched in a single bed.
Two empty hands, white femurs blown in the dust.
But, only halves.
Shoved my black funeral dress into a black binbag
Shuffled round
Clutching silk shoes.
Noosed a tie around my empty neck.
Gaunt nun in the mirror
Touching Celibacy.
I learnt the stages of grief, photos of my face
In each of the frames. All those weeks
He was going away from me, dwindling
To the shrunk size of a snapshot, going, going
Till his name was no longer a word
The last hair of his head floated out from my sheets.
His scent left my bed and my home.
A will was read.
He even left me all rights to his body
Then he was vanished
Into the small zero of my ring.
R.I.P.
Narcissus Narcotic.
I pander to your narcissism.
Empty at the core.
I’m worried by your propaganda:
I was never sure.
I try to prove my worth, it’s
So much harder than before.
Speak, and I become.
Touch me. And I’m numb.
Lies. “I’m having fun”.
But it’s so empty in here.
Memories. I was so innocent.
Incomplete. Lacking in unity.
Leave me be. I miss naivety.
Easily, I’d give this up, but, no, I…
I pander to your narcissism.
You can’t fill me up.
I don't know the truth, and
I don't give a fuck.
Indebted to your gratitude, I
Try my best to feel.
I fuel myself with falsities
And hope to God they’re real.
Speak, and I believe.
Want me. I’m for free.
Lies, and make-believe.
It’s so empty in here.
Memories. I was so innocent.
Incomplete. Lacking in unity.
Leave me be. I miss naivety.
Easily, I’d give this up, but, no, I can’t:
There’s nothing else left.
Empty at the core.
I’m worried by your propaganda:
I was never sure.
I try to prove my worth, it’s
So much harder than before.
Speak, and I become.
Touch me. And I’m numb.
Lies. “I’m having fun”.
But it’s so empty in here.
Memories. I was so innocent.
Incomplete. Lacking in unity.
Leave me be. I miss naivety.
Easily, I’d give this up, but, no, I…
I pander to your narcissism.
You can’t fill me up.
I don't know the truth, and
I don't give a fuck.
Indebted to your gratitude, I
Try my best to feel.
I fuel myself with falsities
And hope to God they’re real.
Speak, and I believe.
Want me. I’m for free.
Lies, and make-believe.
It’s so empty in here.
Memories. I was so innocent.
Incomplete. Lacking in unity.
Leave me be. I miss naivety.
Easily, I’d give this up, but, no, I can’t:
There’s nothing else left.
Let Winter End
I wish that it was warm outside.
I'd take you to my paradise
Within the woods, but now I fear
It's just a clearing glazed in ice.
But stay with me at least till spring
And I will take you to that place
And we can lie beneath the trees,
Lose sight of time, lose sight of space
And act as if we are not weighed
By all the scars we have received.
To have one day of ignorance...
And even if it's make believe...
To be with you and know your mine,
To have a life devoid of lies.
To kiss your lips and look at you
And see no sadness in my eyes.
I'd take you to my paradise
Within the woods, but now I fear
It's just a clearing glazed in ice.
But stay with me at least till spring
And I will take you to that place
And we can lie beneath the trees,
Lose sight of time, lose sight of space
And act as if we are not weighed
By all the scars we have received.
To have one day of ignorance...
And even if it's make believe...
To be with you and know your mine,
To have a life devoid of lies.
To kiss your lips and look at you
And see no sadness in my eyes.
Lets Make Something That Won't Last
I want us to make something that will never last. I want to break onto a rooftop with a shovel and leave a picture in the snow. Only a few executives in the buildings still taller will see it; they will wonder about it, and by next snowfall it will be gone.
I want five seconds in slow motion, the camera on your laughter, steam-breathing, in so much detail I can trace the paths the snowflakes fall.
I confess I am terrified of couples who count their anniversaries in knick-knacks and photo album chapters. An instant can last forever and an eternity can flash by in an instant.
I want to write a message for you in the sand, knowing the tide will wash the beach smooth and you might never see it. Uncertainty is delicious. I want to call a perfect stranger and tell him that I love you, that I am bursting to tell you so. I will ask this stranger not to give me advice. Maybe then this need will leave me.
You know, I could never live so little, but I am jealous of the insects who fly for just one day, mate and then die.
Photographers take thousands of pictures to keep just one. I want to spend a day with you, build it up to a look, a touch, a sound I will never forget, and never see you again.
I want five seconds in slow motion, the camera on your laughter, steam-breathing, in so much detail I can trace the paths the snowflakes fall.
I confess I am terrified of couples who count their anniversaries in knick-knacks and photo album chapters. An instant can last forever and an eternity can flash by in an instant.
I want to write a message for you in the sand, knowing the tide will wash the beach smooth and you might never see it. Uncertainty is delicious. I want to call a perfect stranger and tell him that I love you, that I am bursting to tell you so. I will ask this stranger not to give me advice. Maybe then this need will leave me.
You know, I could never live so little, but I am jealous of the insects who fly for just one day, mate and then die.
Photographers take thousands of pictures to keep just one. I want to spend a day with you, build it up to a look, a touch, a sound I will never forget, and never see you again.
These Eyes
These eyes have seen the worst
this cruel life has had to offer,
this poor girl grew up hungry
though nothing but money filled her coffer,
She has seen the drug abuse
that she dare not now exhibit,
cocaine among many
that law should now prohibit.
Her eyes have seen real neglect
unwashed hair and dirty clothes,
though parents dressed her in designers
as if they're bound by oaths.
And then comes sexual impropieties
who knows what these eyes have seen,
behind the many closed doors
where evil depravity convenes.
Yes these eyes are of a child
that has lost all her innocence,
While society tends to look away
and children are left in suspense.
There is sadness in these eyes,
a life quietly lost in the world,
until we all stop and realize
im just an innocent little girl.
this cruel life has had to offer,
this poor girl grew up hungry
though nothing but money filled her coffer,
She has seen the drug abuse
that she dare not now exhibit,
cocaine among many
that law should now prohibit.
Her eyes have seen real neglect
unwashed hair and dirty clothes,
though parents dressed her in designers
as if they're bound by oaths.
And then comes sexual impropieties
who knows what these eyes have seen,
behind the many closed doors
where evil depravity convenes.
Yes these eyes are of a child
that has lost all her innocence,
While society tends to look away
and children are left in suspense.
There is sadness in these eyes,
a life quietly lost in the world,
until we all stop and realize
im just an innocent little girl.
Twists and Turns.
Life has so many twist and turns,
somethings are not as obvious as they appear.
Cling to the reality that once was spoken, dream of the certain future that adheres.
Somethings are worth waiting for,
even in the darkest tribulation phase.
Hope to rise above all obstacles,
even when your soul is ablaze.
Dreams they come and go,
like the change of seasons.
Miracles show up just now and then,
but knowing that statistic has reason,
my miracle will come to me just like the wind.
somethings are not as obvious as they appear.
Cling to the reality that once was spoken, dream of the certain future that adheres.
Somethings are worth waiting for,
even in the darkest tribulation phase.
Hope to rise above all obstacles,
even when your soul is ablaze.
Dreams they come and go,
like the change of seasons.
Miracles show up just now and then,
but knowing that statistic has reason,
my miracle will come to me just like the wind.
First Light
Now the moon has disappeared and the stars have lost their shine
And I feel you at the breaking of the day,
As I put my arms around you and our bodies realign;
I can smell the muskiness of Faberge.
As the misty grey of morning brings a chill into the room
I can sense a little shiver down my spine,
It’s always like the first time, when you were my new groom,
When you uttered words of love that were divine.
But now the sun has risen and her warmth is everywhere,
And my breath is coming just a little fast,
You perform your magnum opus and each time’s a premiere;
We never see shows with an undercast.
And now daylight has broken and the sun is streaming through,
As we linger just an extra minute more,
Before you go into the bathroom and call for more shampoo;
As my love for you oozes from every pore.
And I feel you at the breaking of the day,
As I put my arms around you and our bodies realign;
I can smell the muskiness of Faberge.
As the misty grey of morning brings a chill into the room
I can sense a little shiver down my spine,
It’s always like the first time, when you were my new groom,
When you uttered words of love that were divine.
But now the sun has risen and her warmth is everywhere,
And my breath is coming just a little fast,
You perform your magnum opus and each time’s a premiere;
We never see shows with an undercast.
And now daylight has broken and the sun is streaming through,
As we linger just an extra minute more,
Before you go into the bathroom and call for more shampoo;
As my love for you oozes from every pore.
Ephemeral
Unchained Melody pierces
beneath the leather-laced
veneer of friendship
Deep. Dark.
Mysterious eyes
find me,
uncover the
scent of danger
born in the bed
of innocence.
Childhood passions
skirt the hem of
maturity
flirt
igniting the flame
of forgetfulness
passes
a baton
of selfish pride
beckoning
teasing me
to enter the
player's circle.
Who is this
god-like creature
featured in front
of me:
temptations serpent?
beyond reality's
reach
he breaches
absentia of desire
stealing me from
stagnate, stale
dreams of life
lived celibate...
His words roll
from his tongue
melting resolve
to remain aloof
distant, disguised
inside the realms
of indifference
vicious. suspicious.
unable...
to trust the lust
of his passion
as he swears
"eternal love."
My head swirls:
Does he want
more than to
slip in between
the cracks of
caution
to wrap me
in cellophane
and sell me
to the highest
bidder: unfettered
hungers, appetites
I've quelled by
abstinance, all-
together.
Why open myself
to his grasp
as he clasps strangle-
holding, suffocating
the
neck of resistance
ego
screams and pulsates
tears at the core
of my substance
essential wisdom
weakens in the
throes of his
embrace.
the space
locked, walled
off from the dream
of love
hiding
behind crooked
smiles
determined
devil may care
Beware.
w a r n i n g:
Stop@ blind-illusion's
hand.
Breathe
look past
suffocating strands
that
momentarily grip
and bind...
fair game baits
the snare of
passion
Outside the
realm of
ephemeral reality
beneath the leather-laced
veneer of friendship
Deep. Dark.
Mysterious eyes
find me,
uncover the
scent of danger
born in the bed
of innocence.
Childhood passions
skirt the hem of
maturity
flirt
igniting the flame
of forgetfulness
passes
a baton
of selfish pride
beckoning
teasing me
to enter the
player's circle.
Who is this
god-like creature
featured in front
of me:
temptations serpent?
beyond reality's
reach
he breaches
absentia of desire
stealing me from
stagnate, stale
dreams of life
lived celibate...
His words roll
from his tongue
melting resolve
to remain aloof
distant, disguised
inside the realms
of indifference
vicious. suspicious.
unable...
to trust the lust
of his passion
as he swears
"eternal love."
My head swirls:
Does he want
more than to
slip in between
the cracks of
caution
to wrap me
in cellophane
and sell me
to the highest
bidder: unfettered
hungers, appetites
I've quelled by
abstinance, all-
together.
Why open myself
to his grasp
as he clasps strangle-
holding, suffocating
the
neck of resistance
ego
screams and pulsates
tears at the core
of my substance
essential wisdom
weakens in the
throes of his
embrace.
the space
locked, walled
off from the dream
of love
hiding
behind crooked
smiles
determined
devil may care
Beware.
w a r n i n g:
Stop@ blind-illusion's
hand.
Breathe
look past
suffocating strands
that
momentarily grip
and bind...
fair game baits
the snare of
passion
Outside the
realm of
ephemeral reality
Fuck The World
Fuck the world if they can't understand
I'm leaving soon, well I'll be damned
Everywhere we go, people stare and talk
Fuck the world,hold my hand baby, let's walk
Fuck the world, we'll make it on our own
Fuck the world honey, this chills me to the bone
I'm through with crying, through with just dealing
I'm fucking leaving, my head is reeling
My blood is boiling, my heart is breaking
I'm tired of hiding my pain, I'm tired of faking
Fuck the world if they can't understand
my situation, if they want to judge
I guess I've waited almost 2 years, and all
I finally need is the last nudge
So fuck this world if it can't understand
I'm tired of this shit, it's more than I can stand
I'm fed up with the lies, the constant advice
I'm tired of sitting here smiling and acting
all decent and nice
And maybe it's about time the other side of
me is let free
Because this is the part of me I've always held
deep inside of me
I never let it show because I wanted you to love
me no matter what
And maybe you still will when I leave
But I need out now, and I'm trying not to grieve
So fuck the world if they can't understand
I'll make it on my own and take care of myself
like I always have, it was life's constant demand
Hey what the fuck would you understand
when you were never around to know
But I'm changing even more, I'm already more
different than you know
And fuck this world, this side of me is beginning to
show
Fuck the world I can do this by myself
I've been through worse without anyone's
help
Fuck the world, I'll make it okay in the end
Fuck this world, no more to your whim, will I
bend.
I'm leaving soon, well I'll be damned
Everywhere we go, people stare and talk
Fuck the world,hold my hand baby, let's walk
Fuck the world, we'll make it on our own
Fuck the world honey, this chills me to the bone
I'm through with crying, through with just dealing
I'm fucking leaving, my head is reeling
My blood is boiling, my heart is breaking
I'm tired of hiding my pain, I'm tired of faking
Fuck the world if they can't understand
my situation, if they want to judge
I guess I've waited almost 2 years, and all
I finally need is the last nudge
So fuck this world if it can't understand
I'm tired of this shit, it's more than I can stand
I'm fed up with the lies, the constant advice
I'm tired of sitting here smiling and acting
all decent and nice
And maybe it's about time the other side of
me is let free
Because this is the part of me I've always held
deep inside of me
I never let it show because I wanted you to love
me no matter what
And maybe you still will when I leave
But I need out now, and I'm trying not to grieve
So fuck the world if they can't understand
I'll make it on my own and take care of myself
like I always have, it was life's constant demand
Hey what the fuck would you understand
when you were never around to know
But I'm changing even more, I'm already more
different than you know
And fuck this world, this side of me is beginning to
show
Fuck the world I can do this by myself
I've been through worse without anyone's
help
Fuck the world, I'll make it okay in the end
Fuck this world, no more to your whim, will I
bend.
"I want to be so light a helium balloon could lift me and carry me to the clouds"
Can’t get any sleep tonight.
It’s started again.
The questions, the thoughts.
It’s taking over; taking back the control.
Looking at my reflection.
Fat. Fat. Fat. Fat is all I see.
Oh how I wish I could see the real me.
The one that everyone else sees.
But the person deep inside of me has me blind.
Some days I feel okay. But other days, I just need help.
This is me now. This is the life that I cannot escape from;
Stick and stones may break her bones
But words can make her bleed inside
She'd never admit it to anyone though
She'll just keep saying "Im not hungry"
She may act happy and bubbly to you
But thats just to cover up her pain
In reality she's hurting so much inside
And feels so weak and drained.
She wont tell anyone how she feels
But just because she is smiling
It doesnt mean shes happy at all
Shes just covering up that shes slowly dying.
She sees an image of herself in the mirror
But its an image she wishes she couldnt see
Cause the mirror reflects someone she hates
Someone, something she doesnt want to be.
So what if they say I'll die, they need not interfere,
I haven't eaten in weeks, but I'm still here
My stomach is an empty hole
But at least I'm in control.
As my ballet teacher always used to shout at me:
" You can't carry yourself on your toes if you are fat! Nobody wants to see fat ballerinas! So whenever you feel hungry, remember that nothing tastes as good as thin feels... Don't you want to see your beautiful, beautiful bones? Bones are clean and pure. Fat is dirty and hangs on your bones like a parasite."
It’s started again.
The questions, the thoughts.
It’s taking over; taking back the control.
Looking at my reflection.
Fat. Fat. Fat. Fat is all I see.
Oh how I wish I could see the real me.
The one that everyone else sees.
But the person deep inside of me has me blind.
Some days I feel okay. But other days, I just need help.
This is me now. This is the life that I cannot escape from;
Stick and stones may break her bones
But words can make her bleed inside
She'd never admit it to anyone though
She'll just keep saying "Im not hungry"
She may act happy and bubbly to you
But thats just to cover up her pain
In reality she's hurting so much inside
And feels so weak and drained.
She wont tell anyone how she feels
But just because she is smiling
It doesnt mean shes happy at all
Shes just covering up that shes slowly dying.
She sees an image of herself in the mirror
But its an image she wishes she couldnt see
Cause the mirror reflects someone she hates
Someone, something she doesnt want to be.
So what if they say I'll die, they need not interfere,
I haven't eaten in weeks, but I'm still here
My stomach is an empty hole
But at least I'm in control.
As my ballet teacher always used to shout at me:
" You can't carry yourself on your toes if you are fat! Nobody wants to see fat ballerinas! So whenever you feel hungry, remember that nothing tastes as good as thin feels... Don't you want to see your beautiful, beautiful bones? Bones are clean and pure. Fat is dirty and hangs on your bones like a parasite."
Lessons To Learn About Love And Trust
Wistful in thought in pensive mind,
trying to leave the sadness behind.
Cry out to heavenly King of Kings,
take this sorrow heartache brings.
Silver linings and rainbows all hide,
drawn within this pain held inside.
Hope for a new day, not to give in,
stay strong as pain and sadness begin.
Lessons to learn about love and trust,
take care of my heart, hide if you must.
Mend the pieces, find solace in hope,
true friends are here to help me cope.
A foolish heart always loses control,
sleepless nights soon takes its toll.
Dreams are swept away with tears,
replaced with hopelessness and fears.
Through the pain, I have no regrets,
true love the heart never forgets.
Reach for me, do not let me fall.
for yours is the greatest love of them all.
trying to leave the sadness behind.
Cry out to heavenly King of Kings,
take this sorrow heartache brings.
Silver linings and rainbows all hide,
drawn within this pain held inside.
Hope for a new day, not to give in,
stay strong as pain and sadness begin.
Lessons to learn about love and trust,
take care of my heart, hide if you must.
Mend the pieces, find solace in hope,
true friends are here to help me cope.
A foolish heart always loses control,
sleepless nights soon takes its toll.
Dreams are swept away with tears,
replaced with hopelessness and fears.
Through the pain, I have no regrets,
true love the heart never forgets.
Reach for me, do not let me fall.
for yours is the greatest love of them all.
Untouched. Unblemished.
The entire world is a marketplace
Of infinite size, it is
Filled with enchanting things
Both on Earth and in the heavens
One could flit from thing to thing
Like a butterfly in the bush.
All things are so colourful
Im at a loss as to what to buy
From a grain of sand to the stars
All things are fascinating
Bewitchingly beautiful, enthralling.
What to buy and take home is the question
Man is taken in by them all
He’s made softer and softer with desire
One should be wary of this enchantment
Lest it melts down man to nothingness
I think I know what to do now:
Leave things untouched, leave them pure.
Use things only to live and let live
Wanton consumption will consume all
Let everything remain untouched, unblemished
We don’t own anything
In truth we are owned by Nature
Bonded to her as children to mother.
Of infinite size, it is
Filled with enchanting things
Both on Earth and in the heavens
One could flit from thing to thing
Like a butterfly in the bush.
All things are so colourful
Im at a loss as to what to buy
From a grain of sand to the stars
All things are fascinating
Bewitchingly beautiful, enthralling.
What to buy and take home is the question
Man is taken in by them all
He’s made softer and softer with desire
One should be wary of this enchantment
Lest it melts down man to nothingness
I think I know what to do now:
Leave things untouched, leave them pure.
Use things only to live and let live
Wanton consumption will consume all
Let everything remain untouched, unblemished
We don’t own anything
In truth we are owned by Nature
Bonded to her as children to mother.
...And Rinse
I’m so fucking sick of writing things,
highlighting them,
then pressing delete
and in an instant
everything just snaps into the universe,
never to be seen again.
you know how there’re some days where you look at the clock
and think of all the things you should be doing.
homework,
exercising,
cleaning,
and then you look back and an hour's passed
already while you just
sat there.
I’m having too many of those days lately.
to top it all off
I’ll eat chocolate and spend a whole
five minutes regretting every bite
cos i have a Prada fashion show in a month.
metaphors suck.
they stick to your fingers like
the waste of wars,
bullets and blood.
they’re the accepted disguise of everything we’re too
fucking afraid to
just say.
our tongues can be cut off,
our skin unseamed,
our lips the vessels of passing poison
but we can still cry.
and still hurt
and still not hurt
and still love
and hate
and believe
and still
just be so over everything
we ignore it till it
sinks its fangs into our
delusion.
I just adore the fact that
there are like, what, 6 billion people
that live and breathe,
but everyone I know is so lonely
and you’re upset that god didn’t
put you on the throne and crown you
just for being so
lovely.
there’s so much to do.
so many lines of knowledge to be read and remembered
that
I feel guilty for not caring.
do you love a boy
who makes you feel much better than you
should?
do you love a boy
that makes the meteorites a little blunter?
a little less apocalyptic?
but in ninety years,
or nine thousand,
there’ll still be that feeling of
roads that haven’t been
treasured
enough to be walked on.
we can’t do it all.....
tired.
spent.
exhausted.
sleep.
wake.
hungry.
food.
sleep.
sleep.
coughing.
sleep.
coughing.
coughing.
vomit.
breath less.
pain.
sleep.
black.
white.
kiss.
vomit.
coughing.
breath less
breath less.
dead.
repeat
repeat
repeat.
and rinse.
highlighting them,
then pressing delete
and in an instant
everything just snaps into the universe,
never to be seen again.
you know how there’re some days where you look at the clock
and think of all the things you should be doing.
homework,
exercising,
cleaning,
and then you look back and an hour's passed
already while you just
sat there.
I’m having too many of those days lately.
to top it all off
I’ll eat chocolate and spend a whole
five minutes regretting every bite
cos i have a Prada fashion show in a month.
metaphors suck.
they stick to your fingers like
the waste of wars,
bullets and blood.
they’re the accepted disguise of everything we’re too
fucking afraid to
just say.
our tongues can be cut off,
our skin unseamed,
our lips the vessels of passing poison
but we can still cry.
and still hurt
and still not hurt
and still love
and hate
and believe
and still
just be so over everything
we ignore it till it
sinks its fangs into our
delusion.
I just adore the fact that
there are like, what, 6 billion people
that live and breathe,
but everyone I know is so lonely
and you’re upset that god didn’t
put you on the throne and crown you
just for being so
lovely.
there’s so much to do.
so many lines of knowledge to be read and remembered
that
I feel guilty for not caring.
do you love a boy
who makes you feel much better than you
should?
do you love a boy
that makes the meteorites a little blunter?
a little less apocalyptic?
but in ninety years,
or nine thousand,
there’ll still be that feeling of
roads that haven’t been
treasured
enough to be walked on.
we can’t do it all.....
tired.
spent.
exhausted.
sleep.
wake.
hungry.
food.
sleep.
sleep.
coughing.
sleep.
coughing.
coughing.
vomit.
breath less.
pain.
sleep.
black.
white.
kiss.
vomit.
coughing.
breath less
breath less.
dead.
repeat
repeat
repeat.
and rinse.
All By Myself
Look into my eyes,
And tell me what you see
Beneath this mask, lies a tortured soul,
That no one knows but me...
Can you see through the sadness?
Tell me if you can...
Do you you know of the the life I've lived?
And what I would give...
Would you listen if I told you,
The truth about this realm?
Do you even care about me,
Or about, anybody else?
Do you know why I feel like,
I'm always alone..?
Can you tell me why I always feel,
Like the only one who's ever here?
Tell me what you want to know,
Or if you care about happiness...
Do you want to know the real me?
Can you see through the darkness?
Tell me if you can...
Do you know why I feel like,
I'm all alone..?
And tell me what you see
Beneath this mask, lies a tortured soul,
That no one knows but me...
Can you see through the sadness?
Tell me if you can...
Do you you know of the the life I've lived?
And what I would give...
Would you listen if I told you,
The truth about this realm?
Do you even care about me,
Or about, anybody else?
Do you know why I feel like,
I'm always alone..?
Can you tell me why I always feel,
Like the only one who's ever here?
Tell me what you want to know,
Or if you care about happiness...
Do you want to know the real me?
Can you see through the darkness?
Tell me if you can...
Do you know why I feel like,
I'm all alone..?
Now
From the day I met u I thought you were this
Nice,
Caring,
Funny,
Warm hearted guy.
Who cared about everything and everyone
Who basically saw the world as I did.
I thought that I could tell you anything.
Everything in the world and you would keep it to your self.
I thought you had the most beautiful being a guy could possibly ever have.
I thought your hug could light up my whole life from fifty feet away,
I thought you were honest, sweet, and kind.
Everytime i saw you my butterflies did backflips
Everytime you healed one of my battle scars
I made a new one for loving you
For the best part of my summer my life revolved around you
But, i can't forget
This
Right Now
So wow.
No.
You deserve and Oscar.
Nice,
Caring,
Funny,
Warm hearted guy.
Who cared about everything and everyone
Who basically saw the world as I did.
I thought that I could tell you anything.
Everything in the world and you would keep it to your self.
I thought you had the most beautiful being a guy could possibly ever have.
I thought your hug could light up my whole life from fifty feet away,
I thought you were honest, sweet, and kind.
Everytime i saw you my butterflies did backflips
Everytime you healed one of my battle scars
I made a new one for loving you
For the best part of my summer my life revolved around you
But, i can't forget
This
Right Now
So wow.
No.
You deserve and Oscar.
Goodbye... For Now
You came into my life
and ignited my heart.
Making me laugh,
you gave me a gift
of a never ending smile.
Even through the pain,
I knew it was meant to be.
You’re the light in my life
and the twinkle in my eye.
I never once second guessed
my love for you.
So I go, I hesitate,
I promised myself
I would never let this happen.
My heart breaks
at the mere idea of not
being in your arms.
So many miles between us,
I don’t ever know how I will cope.
When I say I love you,
it’s to remind you that
you are the best thing
that ever happened to me this holiday.
I have made mistakes
and accepted less then I deserve
but this is my chance
to make things right,
I wish you could go
but this is my dream to live.
You have your life
and I want you to thrive,
be loved, and always remember
that you are in my heart
and no amount of time
or miles apart will ever let that fade.
You ignited my heart,
and that is a flame never to
to extinguish.
This is not goodbye,
it's a "see you later"...
in my dreams.
and ignited my heart.
Making me laugh,
you gave me a gift
of a never ending smile.
Even through the pain,
I knew it was meant to be.
You’re the light in my life
and the twinkle in my eye.
I never once second guessed
my love for you.
So I go, I hesitate,
I promised myself
I would never let this happen.
My heart breaks
at the mere idea of not
being in your arms.
So many miles between us,
I don’t ever know how I will cope.
When I say I love you,
it’s to remind you that
you are the best thing
that ever happened to me this holiday.
I have made mistakes
and accepted less then I deserve
but this is my chance
to make things right,
I wish you could go
but this is my dream to live.
You have your life
and I want you to thrive,
be loved, and always remember
that you are in my heart
and no amount of time
or miles apart will ever let that fade.
You ignited my heart,
and that is a flame never to
to extinguish.
This is not goodbye,
it's a "see you later"...
in my dreams.
Goodbye... For Now
You came into my life
and ignited my heart.
Making me laugh,
you gave me a gift
of a never ending smile.
Even through the pain,
I knew it was meant to be.
You’re the light in my life
and the twinkle in my eye.
I never once second guessed
my love for you.
So I go, I hesitate,
I promised myself
I would never let this happen.
My heart breaks
at the mere idea of not
being in your arms.
So many miles between us,
I don’t ever know how I will cope.
When I say I love you,
it’s to remind you that
you are the best thing
that ever happened to me this holiday.
I have made mistakes
and accepted less then I deserve
but this is my chance
to make things right,
I wish you could go
but this is my dream to live.
You have your life
and I want you to thrive,
be loved, and always remember
that you are in my heart
and no amount of time
or miles apart will ever let that fade.
You ignited my heart,
and that is a flame never to
to extinguish.
This is not goodbye,
it's a "see you later"...
in my dreams.
and ignited my heart.
Making me laugh,
you gave me a gift
of a never ending smile.
Even through the pain,
I knew it was meant to be.
You’re the light in my life
and the twinkle in my eye.
I never once second guessed
my love for you.
So I go, I hesitate,
I promised myself
I would never let this happen.
My heart breaks
at the mere idea of not
being in your arms.
So many miles between us,
I don’t ever know how I will cope.
When I say I love you,
it’s to remind you that
you are the best thing
that ever happened to me this holiday.
I have made mistakes
and accepted less then I deserve
but this is my chance
to make things right,
I wish you could go
but this is my dream to live.
You have your life
and I want you to thrive,
be loved, and always remember
that you are in my heart
and no amount of time
or miles apart will ever let that fade.
You ignited my heart,
and that is a flame never to
to extinguish.
This is not goodbye,
it's a "see you later"...
in my dreams.
Helpless
I'll try not to cry when I leave,
But Ill make no promises.
I try to keep it in, scared of scaring you.
Scared of the way my heart beats.
And when Im back in England all alone,
I'll try not to feel the cold around me.
The memories of us will keep me warm and
I'll try to laugh like we do together.
But i'll come home, i'll come back,
These thoughts keep me happy.
But then happiness is more deceptive than all the rest.
Quiet an tired,
I feel, I sense, I know,
Your strength,
But I fear your mind.
I see it's confusion, it's anger
And pain.
How I do yearn to ease that continual,
Ache in you!
But I am helpless, with only the power to listen.
But Ill make no promises.
I try to keep it in, scared of scaring you.
Scared of the way my heart beats.
And when Im back in England all alone,
I'll try not to feel the cold around me.
The memories of us will keep me warm and
I'll try to laugh like we do together.
But i'll come home, i'll come back,
These thoughts keep me happy.
But then happiness is more deceptive than all the rest.
Quiet an tired,
I feel, I sense, I know,
Your strength,
But I fear your mind.
I see it's confusion, it's anger
And pain.
How I do yearn to ease that continual,
Ache in you!
But I am helpless, with only the power to listen.
Happy Birthday
Wishes granted,
Dreams come clear,
All on this one special day,
That is all about you.
Years have passed,
Days dance on,
The passing of time allows,
More of you to come through.
Each year as you grow,
May more blossoms spring up,
Like the flourish of spring,
Arising at your touch.
Though you may feel,
As though time is racing,
Leaving you behind,
That cannot be true.
Instead as you grow older,
And in some instance gray,
Never will your spirit,
Become dull and bland.
Brightening the days,
Of each passing year,
You have given more than a smile,
To each person you touch.
So relish this time,
Your special day,
For it only comes once a year,
Making you the shining star.
Love your kindred spirits,
Spread smiles across your face,
Cherish your moments.
As this is your birthday...
A day most special,
Made just for you,
Happy Birthday!
May more wishes and dreams arise in this day!
I wish you all that you long for,
Everything you desire, and most of all deserve:
All the oily business stuff you want
You are one of the most
Special people to me
Touching my heart with determination
I never expected to find
Such an exquisite soul.
You have the sweetest nature,
Always thoughtful,
Understanding and kind, non judgemental.
So giving of yourself,
A wonderful friend that always shines.
That I admire.
It was a great day
When you became a part of this universe
ENJOY YOUR BIRTHDAY!
Dreams come clear,
All on this one special day,
That is all about you.
Years have passed,
Days dance on,
The passing of time allows,
More of you to come through.
Each year as you grow,
May more blossoms spring up,
Like the flourish of spring,
Arising at your touch.
Though you may feel,
As though time is racing,
Leaving you behind,
That cannot be true.
Instead as you grow older,
And in some instance gray,
Never will your spirit,
Become dull and bland.
Brightening the days,
Of each passing year,
You have given more than a smile,
To each person you touch.
So relish this time,
Your special day,
For it only comes once a year,
Making you the shining star.
Love your kindred spirits,
Spread smiles across your face,
Cherish your moments.
As this is your birthday...
A day most special,
Made just for you,
Happy Birthday!
May more wishes and dreams arise in this day!
I wish you all that you long for,
Everything you desire, and most of all deserve:
All the oily business stuff you want
You are one of the most
Special people to me
Touching my heart with determination
I never expected to find
Such an exquisite soul.
You have the sweetest nature,
Always thoughtful,
Understanding and kind, non judgemental.
So giving of yourself,
A wonderful friend that always shines.
That I admire.
It was a great day
When you became a part of this universe
ENJOY YOUR BIRTHDAY!
Dreaming
She dreams of colors, bright but bold,
Of what life would be like down the road.
Dreams of love and happiness,
Never of what it's like to be lifeless.
The perfect picture of the perfect life,
With flawless friends without strife.
But she never thought of the possibilities
Of the price she'd pay for the happiness.
He's the one, the picture-perfect guy
Who sees all the happiness in her eyes.
He knows she's naive in all her bliss,
So he tries to ruin her happiness.
He'll say anything to make her like him even more
But underneath he would like nothing more
Than to tell her things that make sense
So that he could rob her of her innoscence.
She, so naive, believes every word
He says though it's all so obscure.
Everyday they spend together
Everyday, he longs more for her.
She plans for the day she gives him her love,
He plans only to ruin her view of true love.
Of what life would be like down the road.
Dreams of love and happiness,
Never of what it's like to be lifeless.
The perfect picture of the perfect life,
With flawless friends without strife.
But she never thought of the possibilities
Of the price she'd pay for the happiness.
He's the one, the picture-perfect guy
Who sees all the happiness in her eyes.
He knows she's naive in all her bliss,
So he tries to ruin her happiness.
He'll say anything to make her like him even more
But underneath he would like nothing more
Than to tell her things that make sense
So that he could rob her of her innoscence.
She, so naive, believes every word
He says though it's all so obscure.
Everyday they spend together
Everyday, he longs more for her.
She plans for the day she gives him her love,
He plans only to ruin her view of true love.
Perhaps
Perhaps uncertainty lies where fog rises so mercilessly.
Yet, there is no other path of clarity within reach of our weary feet,
so onward we go, into the breach between light and dark,
with only our courage and memories to guide us.
We must believe that somewhere beyond the locked gate is home,
where a flickering hearth awaits our casual arrival, unbeckoned.
The chilled air will not diminish our hurried desire to find
what might have become lost to our searching eyes
as we looked for something far more than we thought we knew.
Once, as children, we followed our hearts
as they drifted on a burgeoning wind,
assured that life would be kind to our travels;
time could only be so cruel as to deceive our innocence
with a lack of laughter as sudden brutality taught us lessons
we did not want to learn.
Still, spring returns, no matter how barren the landscape may be.
Armed with such wisdom,
we grew as tall as the trees we once sought shelter under,
spreading our blankets and our feasts with swift bravery
and a hunger so fine, it flourished within our bones.
The sky is gray now, but just remember how clear,
how deep the blue can be.
It is this whisper that leads us back,
this echo remaining within our souls
which causes summer to be unforgotten
as autumn renders us into this harvest of beauty.
We find sanctuary within, where we are most free.
Yet, there is no other path of clarity within reach of our weary feet,
so onward we go, into the breach between light and dark,
with only our courage and memories to guide us.
We must believe that somewhere beyond the locked gate is home,
where a flickering hearth awaits our casual arrival, unbeckoned.
The chilled air will not diminish our hurried desire to find
what might have become lost to our searching eyes
as we looked for something far more than we thought we knew.
Once, as children, we followed our hearts
as they drifted on a burgeoning wind,
assured that life would be kind to our travels;
time could only be so cruel as to deceive our innocence
with a lack of laughter as sudden brutality taught us lessons
we did not want to learn.
Still, spring returns, no matter how barren the landscape may be.
Armed with such wisdom,
we grew as tall as the trees we once sought shelter under,
spreading our blankets and our feasts with swift bravery
and a hunger so fine, it flourished within our bones.
The sky is gray now, but just remember how clear,
how deep the blue can be.
It is this whisper that leads us back,
this echo remaining within our souls
which causes summer to be unforgotten
as autumn renders us into this harvest of beauty.
We find sanctuary within, where we are most free.
Hush Little Bastard part 2!
A slit of the throat,
A stab in the chest.
I'll bury you deep and I won't make a mess.
I'll snap your neck,
I'll break all your bones,
You filthy scum liar, I should have known.
I'll slice up your wrists,
I'll rip the fucking spine out your back.
I'll gouge out your eyes so you'll never look back.
I'll spill your guts with a chainsaw,
Your such a disgrace,a waste of space, a poor excuse for a man
I'll watch you die slowly and laugh in your face.
A stab in the chest.
I'll bury you deep and I won't make a mess.
I'll snap your neck,
I'll break all your bones,
You filthy scum liar, I should have known.
I'll slice up your wrists,
I'll rip the fucking spine out your back.
I'll gouge out your eyes so you'll never look back.
I'll spill your guts with a chainsaw,
Your such a disgrace,a waste of space, a poor excuse for a man
I'll watch you die slowly and laugh in your face.
Another Sad One For All My Fans
I used to let my feelings out
Everyone knew what my life was about
Until it came to be this way
When it comes to the truth, I can never say
I hide my sorrow with a happy grin
Faking joyfulness so people don't see the pain within
From the memories of a broken heart
The times when others and I got broken apart
The words seem to repeat like a song
From the times that people have done me wrong
It's like there's so end to my bitter shame
No matter how hard I try things will never be the same
I change everything about me to erase what was once there
And hope that someday, I'll come back from this evil despair
Everyone knew what my life was about
Until it came to be this way
When it comes to the truth, I can never say
I hide my sorrow with a happy grin
Faking joyfulness so people don't see the pain within
From the memories of a broken heart
The times when others and I got broken apart
The words seem to repeat like a song
From the times that people have done me wrong
It's like there's so end to my bitter shame
No matter how hard I try things will never be the same
I change everything about me to erase what was once there
And hope that someday, I'll come back from this evil despair
Do I Really?
Do I look like the type of girl,
to take the shit you say,
as face value and honesty,
when its a game you play.
And don't you dare repeat,
'I'm ill, I've hurt this body of mine',
If you really cared for me,
You'll always find the time.
Your excuses are so weak,
Your heart is so diluted,
You make me angry everyday,
My poetry's all polluted.
I can't take this stupid town,
I want to see the Nile,
The pyramids, the eiffel tower,
may just erase your smile.
And you'll be stuck here forever,
With the narrow life you walk,
And then I'll be the one to say,
'I'm too busy to talk'.
to take the shit you say,
as face value and honesty,
when its a game you play.
And don't you dare repeat,
'I'm ill, I've hurt this body of mine',
If you really cared for me,
You'll always find the time.
Your excuses are so weak,
Your heart is so diluted,
You make me angry everyday,
My poetry's all polluted.
I can't take this stupid town,
I want to see the Nile,
The pyramids, the eiffel tower,
may just erase your smile.
And you'll be stuck here forever,
With the narrow life you walk,
And then I'll be the one to say,
'I'm too busy to talk'.
Hush Little Bastard
Hush little Bastard, there’s nothing to be said
Just keep gasping for breath as your pillow turns red
A stab wound to the chest from which crimson liquid does pour
You’ll never forget what you earned this for
My sweet little Bastard, hush now, don’t cry
Really, it’s your fault that you have to die
I tried to be nice, sweet, and kind to you
You really deserve this for what you put me through
My beautiful Bastard, you’re staining the sheets
To wash out this blood is going to take weeks
With that thought in my head I stab you again
Over and over for what could have been
My wonderful Bastard, this may leave a scar
I wish you could see how pretty your insides are
They’re very healthy, you must have treated them well
And with one final cut I’ll send you strait back to hell
Hush little Bastard, be still at last
With one final strike this will be over fast
As you die in the night I’m the last thing you’ll see
Just know, this is what you get for hurting me
Just keep gasping for breath as your pillow turns red
A stab wound to the chest from which crimson liquid does pour
You’ll never forget what you earned this for
My sweet little Bastard, hush now, don’t cry
Really, it’s your fault that you have to die
I tried to be nice, sweet, and kind to you
You really deserve this for what you put me through
My beautiful Bastard, you’re staining the sheets
To wash out this blood is going to take weeks
With that thought in my head I stab you again
Over and over for what could have been
My wonderful Bastard, this may leave a scar
I wish you could see how pretty your insides are
They’re very healthy, you must have treated them well
And with one final cut I’ll send you strait back to hell
Hush little Bastard, be still at last
With one final strike this will be over fast
As you die in the night I’m the last thing you’ll see
Just know, this is what you get for hurting me
So Then What Is The Meaning Of Life?
What is the meaning of life?
One day leads to the next.
And the second day floats
Onward to the third.
Which leads to the fourth.
Life deserves not a meaning.
No Hollywood ending,
No knight in shining armor.
No princess to save,
No such thing as karma.
But there is a bright side.
There is happiness.
There is love.
There is friendship.
There is loyalty.
And there is a meaning to it all.
We strive to find what is at the end.
We strive to fix our broken pasts.
We strive for our own means.
We are a foolish, greedy society.
Let life take it's course.
Forget about the past.
Fuck the future.
Stick with the present.
Just go with it all.
The present is omnipresent.
Goals give meaning to life.
Doubts give meaning to life.
Faith gives meaning to life.
Sin gives meaning to life.
Don't ask for meaning to life.
Just live.
Enjoy your stay.
Problems mean nothing.
They eventually go away.
Only a fool asks for the meaning of the meaningless.
This was partly inspired by Chris. When we went out last night, we decided to completly forget everything and just have a good time. So It got me thinking about the meaning of life and why people cant just let stuff go life their lives. so thanx chris!!!
One day leads to the next.
And the second day floats
Onward to the third.
Which leads to the fourth.
Life deserves not a meaning.
No Hollywood ending,
No knight in shining armor.
No princess to save,
No such thing as karma.
But there is a bright side.
There is happiness.
There is love.
There is friendship.
There is loyalty.
And there is a meaning to it all.
We strive to find what is at the end.
We strive to fix our broken pasts.
We strive for our own means.
We are a foolish, greedy society.
Let life take it's course.
Forget about the past.
Fuck the future.
Stick with the present.
Just go with it all.
The present is omnipresent.
Goals give meaning to life.
Doubts give meaning to life.
Faith gives meaning to life.
Sin gives meaning to life.
Don't ask for meaning to life.
Just live.
Enjoy your stay.
Problems mean nothing.
They eventually go away.
Only a fool asks for the meaning of the meaningless.
This was partly inspired by Chris. When we went out last night, we decided to completly forget everything and just have a good time. So It got me thinking about the meaning of life and why people cant just let stuff go life their lives. so thanx chris!!!
Slave Castles.
Ok so I just got back from Cape Coast. While i was there i went to go see the slave castles and stuff. What really disturbed me was how, even after all these years, you can still smell the urine, feaces and death (as a forensic student i know what death smells like and it aint pretty!). And as u all know i have to turn everything i see into poetry lol so here are two poems i wrote about my experience....
The kinks Won’t Die;
I tried, I really tried but the kinks wouldn’t die
Those kinks in my hair that some white people call “nigger nappy hair”
I burned them with an iron comb, heated in the flames but
They couldn’t be tamed
My ancestors were also burned with iron
Branded with their master’s names….
I tried the chemical processes which works for a while but
The kinks don’t die
The relaxer makes the kinks lay down for a while but they don’t die
My ancestors were processed too- with chemicals of hate and cruelty
And they laid down, but their dreams didn’t die
So I beat the kinks with brushes
Smother them with gel
Drown them in straightening mousse
Separate them into braids to divide and conquer
Hoping their spirit will be broken and each strand will obey
But like my ancestors who were
Beaten with whips
Smothered with sadness
Drowned in despair
Separated from their tribes to be divided and conquered
The kinks don’t die
They fight back
Like my ancestors fought back
They were forced to eat inequality, but no one could take away their
HOPE and DIGNITY
Those kinks just don’t die…
And now we know why…
Brief Pleasure;
sticky sweating dark bodies
bent over and achy with
fingers stiff and bleeding
from picking all day while
red scratchy eyes see
nothing but white
ears enjoying the humming
and chanting from their
slaves trying to boost
morale till the minute
the master will call
"Quitting Time"
sighs of pleasure
such a brief time
as they stretch
their backs and necks
while they go eat a
bite and head to
bed just to start it
all over again when
in their dreams they
will hear the words
"Starting Time"
The kinks Won’t Die;
I tried, I really tried but the kinks wouldn’t die
Those kinks in my hair that some white people call “nigger nappy hair”
I burned them with an iron comb, heated in the flames but
They couldn’t be tamed
My ancestors were also burned with iron
Branded with their master’s names….
I tried the chemical processes which works for a while but
The kinks don’t die
The relaxer makes the kinks lay down for a while but they don’t die
My ancestors were processed too- with chemicals of hate and cruelty
And they laid down, but their dreams didn’t die
So I beat the kinks with brushes
Smother them with gel
Drown them in straightening mousse
Separate them into braids to divide and conquer
Hoping their spirit will be broken and each strand will obey
But like my ancestors who were
Beaten with whips
Smothered with sadness
Drowned in despair
Separated from their tribes to be divided and conquered
The kinks don’t die
They fight back
Like my ancestors fought back
They were forced to eat inequality, but no one could take away their
HOPE and DIGNITY
Those kinks just don’t die…
And now we know why…
Brief Pleasure;
sticky sweating dark bodies
bent over and achy with
fingers stiff and bleeding
from picking all day while
red scratchy eyes see
nothing but white
ears enjoying the humming
and chanting from their
slaves trying to boost
morale till the minute
the master will call
"Quitting Time"
sighs of pleasure
such a brief time
as they stretch
their backs and necks
while they go eat a
bite and head to
bed just to start it
all over again when
in their dreams they
will hear the words
"Starting Time"
L.O.V.E!!! My Definition Of It.
Love is..
..Happiness
..Life
..Passion
..Real.
Everything.
So strange this thing called love.
It is tender, soft and gentle.
Unlike any other there has ever been.
Love is wanting to see you smile,
Love is wanting to be with you no matter the trial,
Love is wanting to help you no matter the cost,
Love is wanting be close to you,
Love is wanting to see you achieve your dreams.
Love is wanting to stay here forever instead of leaving in three weeks
Love is when a heart can bleed when your business deal doesn't go through,
Love is when all a mind can do is dream of you when slumber settles,
Love is when a heart races when you touch me,
Love is when you make me want to be a better person,
Love is when feet feel light and must dance for the joy you bring,
Love is when a secret heart wants to trust and tell you all its burdens.
If soothing and encouraging words,
Laughter, jokes and tickle fights, and
Serious talks long into the night,
Are not love then what is?
Even after all this time,
The sun never says to the earth, "You owe me."
And just look at what happens with a Love like that!
—It lights up the whole Sky!
..Happiness
..Life
..Passion
..Real.
Everything.
So strange this thing called love.
It is tender, soft and gentle.
Unlike any other there has ever been.
Love is wanting to see you smile,
Love is wanting to be with you no matter the trial,
Love is wanting to help you no matter the cost,
Love is wanting be close to you,
Love is wanting to see you achieve your dreams.
Love is wanting to stay here forever instead of leaving in three weeks
Love is when a heart can bleed when your business deal doesn't go through,
Love is when all a mind can do is dream of you when slumber settles,
Love is when a heart races when you touch me,
Love is when you make me want to be a better person,
Love is when feet feel light and must dance for the joy you bring,
Love is when a secret heart wants to trust and tell you all its burdens.
If soothing and encouraging words,
Laughter, jokes and tickle fights, and
Serious talks long into the night,
Are not love then what is?
Even after all this time,
The sun never says to the earth, "You owe me."
And just look at what happens with a Love like that!
—It lights up the whole Sky!
Trippin'
I wanna be tripping
But i know im falling
.....into you
Your lips
Touch mine
Now I feel
More than fine
I can't stop myself
I kiss you back
I enjoy it a lot
And that's a fact
A tingly feeling
Spreads though me
I clutch your body
I can see
This is going somewhere
And I say whatever
I want this moment
To last forever
This
Beautiful
Magical
Moment
With
You
I aint trippin... Im just missin you...
But i know im falling
.....into you
Your lips
Touch mine
Now I feel
More than fine
I can't stop myself
I kiss you back
I enjoy it a lot
And that's a fact
A tingly feeling
Spreads though me
I clutch your body
I can see
This is going somewhere
And I say whatever
I want this moment
To last forever
This
Beautiful
Magical
Moment
With
You
I aint trippin... Im just missin you...
It's OK.....
It's okay.
Thats what Bees do best
After all I brought
It all on myself.
But this is fuckeries.
If a man that aint MY man
Kisses someone else,
Why am i this upset?
Your not my man
Kiss who you want
I'll just bleed the
Pain out of
My blue veins.
They don't care anyways.
Every time is one cut deeper
By now I should be sawed in half.
It was deeper than I thought.
I don't think I realised
Just how deep
Until you told me
You kissed her
So the blood keeps coming,
My heart's still drumming-
Pumping my pain
Out with every drop.
So stab me in the heart
Again-no wait
On second thought...
Just send it through
The meat grinder.
Thats what Bees do best
After all I brought
It all on myself.
But this is fuckeries.
If a man that aint MY man
Kisses someone else,
Why am i this upset?
Your not my man
Kiss who you want
I'll just bleed the
Pain out of
My blue veins.
They don't care anyways.
Every time is one cut deeper
By now I should be sawed in half.
It was deeper than I thought.
I don't think I realised
Just how deep
Until you told me
You kissed her
So the blood keeps coming,
My heart's still drumming-
Pumping my pain
Out with every drop.
So stab me in the heart
Again-no wait
On second thought...
Just send it through
The meat grinder.
Happy
You make me laugh
When I feel like crap
I know you’ll always be there
I know you’ll always care
You know exactly what to say
To make me feel this way
How you look at me
To make me feel so free
When I’m down
And always wearing a frown
You pick me up off the ground
And put your arms around me
When my life is turned upside down
The joy in your eyes fills my heart
With everything I need
To make a new start
When I feel like crap
I know you’ll always be there
I know you’ll always care
You know exactly what to say
To make me feel this way
How you look at me
To make me feel so free
When I’m down
And always wearing a frown
You pick me up off the ground
And put your arms around me
When my life is turned upside down
The joy in your eyes fills my heart
With everything I need
To make a new start
If I Was Your Bonnie And You Were My Clyde...
There are no words to explain how I feel,
So its going to take time to show you I'm real,
(Even though you think I don't believe in love lol)
But if I was your Bonnie and you were my Clyde
This is how we would ride:
Just know that I would love you, and I would never let you go,
So when it comes down to that situation you will already know,
I would be your girl and I would always treat you right,
The love of my life, I'm going to hold you tight,
Be with you and stick by your side,
Know that I would always be there for you
Because we the new Bonnie and Clyde:
And when we're 100 we'll think bout
Those days when we held each other down,
When we were alone and had nobody around,
And how I tried to show you I will always be there,
You gave me the strength to say there is nothing to fear,
I will always love you because you helped me through many bad time times,
Even though you did not realise,
Your comments on my notes made my day, every day
So my love for you started before the day you copped me La Galette
I promise to be your Bonnie
if you promise to be my Clyde
Because you can't walk on only one foot
It takes two to run
Jeezy and Young Chris!
That's how it would be,
If I was your Bonnie and you were my Clyde
So its going to take time to show you I'm real,
(Even though you think I don't believe in love lol)
But if I was your Bonnie and you were my Clyde
This is how we would ride:
Just know that I would love you, and I would never let you go,
So when it comes down to that situation you will already know,
I would be your girl and I would always treat you right,
The love of my life, I'm going to hold you tight,
Be with you and stick by your side,
Know that I would always be there for you
Because we the new Bonnie and Clyde:
And when we're 100 we'll think bout
Those days when we held each other down,
When we were alone and had nobody around,
And how I tried to show you I will always be there,
You gave me the strength to say there is nothing to fear,
I will always love you because you helped me through many bad time times,
Even though you did not realise,
Your comments on my notes made my day, every day
So my love for you started before the day you copped me La Galette
I promise to be your Bonnie
if you promise to be my Clyde
Because you can't walk on only one foot
It takes two to run
Jeezy and Young Chris!
That's how it would be,
If I was your Bonnie and you were my Clyde
Confusion Reigns
Confusion reigns, in this city daily
Often the looks on the faces are hilarious
Not knowing what to do, or where to go
For the city has many traps awaiting them
Under wraps, until that very moment
So you'll get to see, the various reactions
It's then when common sense disappears
On & on they try to foolishly improvise
Nothing works, as they will surely find out
Remembering those very facts each day
Each step I'll try to take, has to be measured
I've had more of those days, lost & confused
Glazed eyes still try to focus, while the tears flow
Now let's say that the taste's very bittersweet
Something that happens, when confusion reigns
Often the looks on the faces are hilarious
Not knowing what to do, or where to go
For the city has many traps awaiting them
Under wraps, until that very moment
So you'll get to see, the various reactions
It's then when common sense disappears
On & on they try to foolishly improvise
Nothing works, as they will surely find out
Remembering those very facts each day
Each step I'll try to take, has to be measured
I've had more of those days, lost & confused
Glazed eyes still try to focus, while the tears flow
Now let's say that the taste's very bittersweet
Something that happens, when confusion reigns
Still Confused...
As Lifehouse sounds from my stereo,
I sit wondering why.
I wonder what the reason for my feelings is,
and I let out a sigh.
Confusion sets in,
I can't hear
over the din,
of my heart.
My mind is weeping,
and this emotions sweeping
sweeping me up
up in a roar
up here i soar,
over the raging surf of my heart.
Confusion sets in,
I can't hear
over the din,
of my heart.
Music seems my only outlet.
It gently pulls the pain
from my body.
My thoughts wane away into
nothingness.
Confusion sets in,
I can't hear
over the din,
of my heart.
My stomach resembles
a celtic knot, tied and twisted.
a number of choir ensambles,
sing of my heart's misted
eyes, tearstained are seeing red.
Confusion sets in,
I can't hear
over the din,
of my heart.
Confusion sets in...
Confusion sets in.
I sit wondering why.
I wonder what the reason for my feelings is,
and I let out a sigh.
Confusion sets in,
I can't hear
over the din,
of my heart.
My mind is weeping,
and this emotions sweeping
sweeping me up
up in a roar
up here i soar,
over the raging surf of my heart.
Confusion sets in,
I can't hear
over the din,
of my heart.
Music seems my only outlet.
It gently pulls the pain
from my body.
My thoughts wane away into
nothingness.
Confusion sets in,
I can't hear
over the din,
of my heart.
My stomach resembles
a celtic knot, tied and twisted.
a number of choir ensambles,
sing of my heart's misted
eyes, tearstained are seeing red.
Confusion sets in,
I can't hear
over the din,
of my heart.
Confusion sets in...
Confusion sets in.
43...44...45...
Forty-six steps
will take her to the edge
the forty-seventh
will take her to heaven -
Baptists believe
she will go to hell
the Devil believes
in nothing
so she teeters
like ten pence in a spin
- we all hold our breath
will take her to the edge
the forty-seventh
will take her to heaven -
Baptists believe
she will go to hell
the Devil believes
in nothing
so she teeters
like ten pence in a spin
- we all hold our breath
Combined Illusions
i.
i have dreams
that pin me down
to concrete,
drowning me lifeless,
parched and philosophic
but i was not conceptual
and i don't die deluded
so i played tricks
to outfox the trickster
only to find myself
conned.
ii.
the chandeliers crashed
on hollow floors,
resounding echoes
beneath the planks -
with each tap
the heels
confine me
to the monotony
of sounds
that blast
through
my ears,
attempting
to burn me
alive.
iii.
i am convinced
that the walls breathe
slow exhales,
making me trip over
my bones.
there is no pulse
beneath ribs
just needles
and kaleidoscopes -
jesters that run
through nerves
as though they found
solace in screams.
i hold it in:
muted and paralysed,
but the leeches still grow
in my brain
until its expansion
is not just metaphorical
or window-dressed
but valley-deep
and flooded.
iv.
i am not insane,
unstable
or
abnormal
but when my lungs
become concave
and
the hysteria
drags me in
i'm not even fit
for myself.
i have dreams
that pin me down
to concrete,
drowning me lifeless,
parched and philosophic
but i was not conceptual
and i don't die deluded
so i played tricks
to outfox the trickster
only to find myself
conned.
ii.
the chandeliers crashed
on hollow floors,
resounding echoes
beneath the planks -
with each tap
the heels
confine me
to the monotony
of sounds
that blast
through
my ears,
attempting
to burn me
alive.
iii.
i am convinced
that the walls breathe
slow exhales,
making me trip over
my bones.
there is no pulse
beneath ribs
just needles
and kaleidoscopes -
jesters that run
through nerves
as though they found
solace in screams.
i hold it in:
muted and paralysed,
but the leeches still grow
in my brain
until its expansion
is not just metaphorical
or window-dressed
but valley-deep
and flooded.
iv.
i am not insane,
unstable
or
abnormal
but when my lungs
become concave
and
the hysteria
drags me in
i'm not even fit
for myself.
Fuck Everything
Fuck relationships,
fuck breaks,
fuck cigerettes,
fuck coke,
fuck paying ,
fuck this life i live
fuck the life i used to live
fuck the past
fuck the future
fuck not knowing what i want to do with myself
fuck feeling lost all the god damn time,
fuck aggression, the one emotion i have felt a lot lately
fuck insomnia,
fuck psychology,
fuck uni,
fuck my ballet,
fuck dancing,
fuck xbox,
fuck msn,
fuck trying to help and being shouted at,
fuck following what you believe,
fuck being shouted at for following what you believe,
fuck being a free minded individual,
fuck passports,
fuck holidays,
fuck money,
fuck surround sound,
fuck lie-ins,
fuck investing in a finer lifestyle when people don't appreciate how much effort you put into it.
fuck luck, the only thing that explains how people i hate can be so successful.
fuck everyone who doesn't like who i am no matter how hard i try to make them.
fuck being resentful to people you don't know or understand.
fuck not eating
fuck computers
fuck facebook
fuck internet explorer, firefox and ESPECIALLY safari!
fuck waking up 4 hours late, having missed 2 god damn lectures!
fuck fake people, i know i am probably one but i dont give a shit FUCK OFF!
fuck graffiti,
fuck hip hop
fuck techno
fuck house
fuck pop
fuck boys (courtesy of maria my bestest!)
fuck metal
fuck falling in love, you're just going to have your heart broken...but it's still worth it
fuck crying
fuck heartache
fuck heartbreak
fuck eveything i enjoy doing
fuck fighting
fuck not fighting... i wish i could lay into someone's face right now!
fuck feeling as worthless as i do right now!
and fina-fucking-ly fuck every horrible emotion i'm feeling right now!
I WISH EVERYTHING WOULD FUCKING FUCK OFF! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHH!!!!!!
fuck breaks,
fuck cigerettes,
fuck coke,
fuck paying ,
fuck this life i live
fuck the life i used to live
fuck the past
fuck the future
fuck not knowing what i want to do with myself
fuck feeling lost all the god damn time,
fuck aggression, the one emotion i have felt a lot lately
fuck insomnia,
fuck psychology,
fuck uni,
fuck my ballet,
fuck dancing,
fuck xbox,
fuck msn,
fuck trying to help and being shouted at,
fuck following what you believe,
fuck being shouted at for following what you believe,
fuck being a free minded individual,
fuck passports,
fuck holidays,
fuck money,
fuck surround sound,
fuck lie-ins,
fuck investing in a finer lifestyle when people don't appreciate how much effort you put into it.
fuck luck, the only thing that explains how people i hate can be so successful.
fuck everyone who doesn't like who i am no matter how hard i try to make them.
fuck being resentful to people you don't know or understand.
fuck not eating
fuck computers
fuck facebook
fuck internet explorer, firefox and ESPECIALLY safari!
fuck waking up 4 hours late, having missed 2 god damn lectures!
fuck fake people, i know i am probably one but i dont give a shit FUCK OFF!
fuck graffiti,
fuck hip hop
fuck techno
fuck house
fuck pop
fuck boys (courtesy of maria my bestest!)
fuck metal
fuck falling in love, you're just going to have your heart broken...but it's still worth it
fuck crying
fuck heartache
fuck heartbreak
fuck eveything i enjoy doing
fuck fighting
fuck not fighting... i wish i could lay into someone's face right now!
fuck feeling as worthless as i do right now!
and fina-fucking-ly fuck every horrible emotion i'm feeling right now!
I WISH EVERYTHING WOULD FUCKING FUCK OFF! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHH!!!!!!
Where Did You Leave Me
I trusted you, I did.
With all my heart
I shared with you all of me
And you tore my world apart
When I looked you in the eyes
You stared back at me
I saw a man with a heart of mine
Remember me, did you even see?
I let you carry my soul
My heart was not on my sleeve
For I placed it in your hand
To the earth it fell, you let go.
Now I have no heart
For I placed it in your hand
Now I have no soul
For I let you carry it
Now that you have lost me
Where did I go?
I have yet to find myself
And no one seems to truly know
With all my heart
I shared with you all of me
And you tore my world apart
When I looked you in the eyes
You stared back at me
I saw a man with a heart of mine
Remember me, did you even see?
I let you carry my soul
My heart was not on my sleeve
For I placed it in your hand
To the earth it fell, you let go.
Now I have no heart
For I placed it in your hand
Now I have no soul
For I let you carry it
Now that you have lost me
Where did I go?
I have yet to find myself
And no one seems to truly know
What more is there?
That’s it,
I give up,
I give in,
You win,
I lost.
That’s it,
I wasn’t prepared,
I wasn’t aware,
You knew what was happening,
I didn’t.
That’s it,
I get it,
I understand,
You were right,
I was wrong.
That’s it,
I am sorry,
I apologize,
You happy now?
I won’t cry.
That’s it…
That’s it…
It’s over,
I’m not sorry,
I won’t pretend to understand,
I won’t pretend to cry.
I’m not going to cry,
I’m not going to weep…
Because I don’t care,
Caring- leaves you vulnerable.
.... so, goodbye
I give up,
I give in,
You win,
I lost.
That’s it,
I wasn’t prepared,
I wasn’t aware,
You knew what was happening,
I didn’t.
That’s it,
I get it,
I understand,
You were right,
I was wrong.
That’s it,
I am sorry,
I apologize,
You happy now?
I won’t cry.
That’s it…
That’s it…
It’s over,
I’m not sorry,
I won’t pretend to understand,
I won’t pretend to cry.
I’m not going to cry,
I’m not going to weep…
Because I don’t care,
Caring- leaves you vulnerable.
.... so, goodbye
Never Ending Nightmare
Everything began
But nothing ended
Everything that happened
Everything we did
I clenched my fists
When you stole my heart
I closed my eyes
To hide my tears
It happened so fast
And I still feel no end
Everything went black
And I only heard your words
You talked with Hatred
Why did you hate me?
Nothing had an end
Something new always started
You never saw my tears
The words I wrote
Everything began
But there was never an ending
My story will end
With you our without you
I wrote my good bye
And the world will move from under me
I will fall
And my head blown in
My life is ending around me
You just can’t see
What you did to me
What you said
Everything was part of my story
And now my story ends
But nothing ended
Everything that happened
Everything we did
I clenched my fists
When you stole my heart
I closed my eyes
To hide my tears
It happened so fast
And I still feel no end
Everything went black
And I only heard your words
You talked with Hatred
Why did you hate me?
Nothing had an end
Something new always started
You never saw my tears
The words I wrote
Everything began
But there was never an ending
My story will end
With you our without you
I wrote my good bye
And the world will move from under me
I will fall
And my head blown in
My life is ending around me
You just can’t see
What you did to me
What you said
Everything was part of my story
And now my story ends
Time
Broken wings
Will let you fall
You had me once
But you lost it all
A dream is a dream
One no one can touch
You may not have known
But I felt it so much
I speak with no words
Through thought and emotion
I may not be deep
Or complex as the ocean
Cos I am only human
And I take my time
When I know what I have
And want it forever to be mine
Will let you fall
You had me once
But you lost it all
A dream is a dream
One no one can touch
You may not have known
But I felt it so much
I speak with no words
Through thought and emotion
I may not be deep
Or complex as the ocean
Cos I am only human
And I take my time
When I know what I have
And want it forever to be mine
Stale Coffee Life
I suck in my breath,
whilst lost in thought.
The cigarette butt
an ember in the darkness.
If only darkness would fall,
i could justify sleep.
I slowly exhale
the smoke drifting
lazily in the windless room.
My eyes aren't seeing
they're focused on days
long since passed.
Your smiling face doesn't
pop into my head,
life isn't a love song.
I'm seeing the plain old everyday,
my life seems to flit by
as if ticking on in the
slow motion
of an old film.
Like looking at a dingy photograph
I remember a warm pot of coffee.
I drag in another breath,
ignoring the heat
threatening my fingers.
My image shifts
to an almost empty cup,
the dark ring of coffee
looking muddied and stale.
With a sigh I stand,
letting the cigarette fall.
Once more I exhale
and the smoke wafts around me drearily.
Me and my stale
coffee life.
whilst lost in thought.
The cigarette butt
an ember in the darkness.
If only darkness would fall,
i could justify sleep.
I slowly exhale
the smoke drifting
lazily in the windless room.
My eyes aren't seeing
they're focused on days
long since passed.
Your smiling face doesn't
pop into my head,
life isn't a love song.
I'm seeing the plain old everyday,
my life seems to flit by
as if ticking on in the
slow motion
of an old film.
Like looking at a dingy photograph
I remember a warm pot of coffee.
I drag in another breath,
ignoring the heat
threatening my fingers.
My image shifts
to an almost empty cup,
the dark ring of coffee
looking muddied and stale.
With a sigh I stand,
letting the cigarette fall.
Once more I exhale
and the smoke wafts around me drearily.
Me and my stale
coffee life.
I love you!
I love you more immensely than the sky is
And brighter than the sun,
More powerfully than the ocean crashes
And sweeter than the heart of the rose.
I love you further than the stars are,
Stronger than the planets’ wheeling,
Softer than a first lullaby
And more perfectly than a circle–
The circle of our embrace.
And brighter than the sun,
More powerfully than the ocean crashes
And sweeter than the heart of the rose.
I love you further than the stars are,
Stronger than the planets’ wheeling,
Softer than a first lullaby
And more perfectly than a circle–
The circle of our embrace.
Bound by the Wrist
This blade knows no restraint
I'm consciously going faint
The blood I've bled, Red
My will inside, Dead
Oh my, My wrists are bleeding
The flow of life's will retreating
Oh my, My wrists are bleeding
This loss of life's the loss I'm needing
Digging in with a jagged smile
Blood for Christmas, I'm a happy child
A word's much sharper than a roses thorn
A gouge for the mistake, to wake in the morn
I'm consciously going faint
The blood I've bled, Red
My will inside, Dead
Oh my, My wrists are bleeding
The flow of life's will retreating
Oh my, My wrists are bleeding
This loss of life's the loss I'm needing
Digging in with a jagged smile
Blood for Christmas, I'm a happy child
A word's much sharper than a roses thorn
A gouge for the mistake, to wake in the morn
Laughable
I counted flowers
as the knot was tied
Looked like seventeen
Purple ones
Could've been more
I nicked my arm on bark
On the way up
And worried about blood
On my new white jeans
as the knot was tied
Looked like seventeen
Purple ones
Could've been more
I nicked my arm on bark
On the way up
And worried about blood
On my new white jeans
Come What May
Whatever you would say
Whatever you would do
I kept on trying
To continue loving you
But
Whatever I would say
Whatever I would do
You kept on trying
To change my point of view
So
I told you I loved you
I said I needed you here
Every word I said
I said perfectly clear
But
You said my words weren't enough
You said I wasn't sincere
Every word you said
You said to shed a tear
So
Yesterday, I tried to fix our wrongs
I tried to make you smile
I took a different path
And walked the extra mile
But
Yesterday, You tried to corrupt our life
You stood me on trial
You took the same path
To make me feel not worthwhile
So
Today, I've given up hope
I won't fight a lost war
I won't say words
That you choose to ignore
But
Today, You read my words
You begged for more
You took interest in me
Like you never had before
So
You told me you loved me
You said you needed me here
Every word you said
You said with immense fear
But
I told you your words weren't enough
I told you to disappear
Every word I said
Made you shed a tear
So
Tomorrow, I will try to fix my life
I will try to make myself smile
I will take a different path
And walk away from denial
But
Tomorrow, you will feel corrupt
You will lose your smile
You will find the right path
But it may take awhile
Whatever you would do
I kept on trying
To continue loving you
But
Whatever I would say
Whatever I would do
You kept on trying
To change my point of view
So
I told you I loved you
I said I needed you here
Every word I said
I said perfectly clear
But
You said my words weren't enough
You said I wasn't sincere
Every word you said
You said to shed a tear
So
Yesterday, I tried to fix our wrongs
I tried to make you smile
I took a different path
And walked the extra mile
But
Yesterday, You tried to corrupt our life
You stood me on trial
You took the same path
To make me feel not worthwhile
So
Today, I've given up hope
I won't fight a lost war
I won't say words
That you choose to ignore
But
Today, You read my words
You begged for more
You took interest in me
Like you never had before
So
You told me you loved me
You said you needed me here
Every word you said
You said with immense fear
But
I told you your words weren't enough
I told you to disappear
Every word I said
Made you shed a tear
So
Tomorrow, I will try to fix my life
I will try to make myself smile
I will take a different path
And walk away from denial
But
Tomorrow, you will feel corrupt
You will lose your smile
You will find the right path
But it may take awhile
Alive....
Boiled like an onion in the saucepan of life
And diced like a carrot in unholy strife
Left out alone like a mangy old dog
And bled like a pig lost in the fog
Someone impaled me but i survived
Lonely is life except for the knives
Your tongue is so sharp
That I cut myself upon its salty edge
And diced like a carrot in unholy strife
Left out alone like a mangy old dog
And bled like a pig lost in the fog
Someone impaled me but i survived
Lonely is life except for the knives
Your tongue is so sharp
That I cut myself upon its salty edge
Love by Numbers
There are about a thousand words
To be arranged in any way
About two million different songs
Or a billion things to say
There are infinite people to speak
Ninety thousand will stand and fight
There are more than a dozen women
Who would bask under your light
And I have spent countless days
With nights I cannot sleep
I warned myself more than fifty times
But I still got in far too deep
There are over a hundred memories
Even more that I wanted to do
There are innumerable scores of men
But there will only ever be one of you
To be arranged in any way
About two million different songs
Or a billion things to say
There are infinite people to speak
Ninety thousand will stand and fight
There are more than a dozen women
Who would bask under your light
And I have spent countless days
With nights I cannot sleep
I warned myself more than fifty times
But I still got in far too deep
There are over a hundred memories
Even more that I wanted to do
There are innumerable scores of men
But there will only ever be one of you
Unspoken Apology
I remember when he died,
Was in the dead of night,
I remember how I cried-
His face so still and white...
I sensed his need to apologize,
To me for dying without first warning,
Yet he could not lift his eyes,
To face the grievous morning...
I yearend to make him understand,
That death was not his fault,
And grasped his cold white hand,
For hours and deep in thought...
When they planted him in his grave,
A girlfriend's heart was beyond broken,
And the apology he gave,
Within his heart was never spoken...
Walking away, leaving him behind,
Beneath fresh rose covered earth,
I staggered but was not drunk with wine,
And slapped my hands, but not with mirth...
Was in the dead of night,
I remember how I cried-
His face so still and white...
I sensed his need to apologize,
To me for dying without first warning,
Yet he could not lift his eyes,
To face the grievous morning...
I yearend to make him understand,
That death was not his fault,
And grasped his cold white hand,
For hours and deep in thought...
When they planted him in his grave,
A girlfriend's heart was beyond broken,
And the apology he gave,
Within his heart was never spoken...
Walking away, leaving him behind,
Beneath fresh rose covered earth,
I staggered but was not drunk with wine,
And slapped my hands, but not with mirth...
Two Lovers
Two lovers sit together and wait
knowing together for the other, bait
erotic wetness at first touch
the heat becomes a little too much
so as they lock lip to lip
another article of clothing they strip
knowing of the cost they might pay
they move on to worry of that another day
as he takes away reality along with breath
they realize they could lay here till their death
hands slip gently down her curves
delight he finds just as he deserves
only here they find love
their bodies push and shove
so gently that its rough
around his wrist, a pink cuff
her, the only thoughts going through his head
as they lay there peacefully in this comfy bed
knowing together for the other, bait
erotic wetness at first touch
the heat becomes a little too much
so as they lock lip to lip
another article of clothing they strip
knowing of the cost they might pay
they move on to worry of that another day
as he takes away reality along with breath
they realize they could lay here till their death
hands slip gently down her curves
delight he finds just as he deserves
only here they find love
their bodies push and shove
so gently that its rough
around his wrist, a pink cuff
her, the only thoughts going through his head
as they lay there peacefully in this comfy bed
Avoid the Angel
I once knew a girl who looked like an angel
Soft curves and bouncy curls.
I've never seen such an innocent face
I never thought she could break
But he's taken from her the shine in her eyes.
The bounce in each of her steps.
I've never watched someone die
But I'm pretty sure it looks something like this.
Yeah...
Avoid the angel, she's broken and bruised
You can hear her heartbreak with every step
She clad in black eyeliner and a disposition for life
So, avoid the angel, she'll only make you cry
(They found her on his bedroom floor
They found her covered in blood)
I once knew a girl who look like an angel
And just as sweet, we thought she was a saint
Now, he hangs her halo on his bedpost
Getting a sick sort of pleasure from having broke this child.
It's all gone to hell now, you can see it in her eyes.
She's not really living now, just death warmed over
It's not really her now, her soul has long since past
She's already dead now, why not just let her go
But you can't...
Avoid the angel, she'll always be broken, always bruised
You can hear her heart (break away) with every step
She's clad in black skirts and despite for this life
Now, avoid the angel, she always makes you cry
(They found her hanging from her ceiling
They found her above a pool of tears)
Soft curves and bouncy curls.
I've never seen such an innocent face
I never thought she could break
But he's taken from her the shine in her eyes.
The bounce in each of her steps.
I've never watched someone die
But I'm pretty sure it looks something like this.
Yeah...
Avoid the angel, she's broken and bruised
You can hear her heartbreak with every step
She clad in black eyeliner and a disposition for life
So, avoid the angel, she'll only make you cry
(They found her on his bedroom floor
They found her covered in blood)
I once knew a girl who look like an angel
And just as sweet, we thought she was a saint
Now, he hangs her halo on his bedpost
Getting a sick sort of pleasure from having broke this child.
It's all gone to hell now, you can see it in her eyes.
She's not really living now, just death warmed over
It's not really her now, her soul has long since past
She's already dead now, why not just let her go
But you can't...
Avoid the angel, she'll always be broken, always bruised
You can hear her heart (break away) with every step
She's clad in black skirts and despite for this life
Now, avoid the angel, she always makes you cry
(They found her hanging from her ceiling
They found her above a pool of tears)
I Have It Easy?
Dare You Say I Have It Easy
Because You Have No Clue
Even If I Said It You Wouldn't Believe Me
But There Is A Lot I Go Through
Do You Get Told You're A Bitch Everyday
And Get Yelled At all Day Long
You Can't Even Have A Word To Say
Or Else It Will Just Be Wrong
You Can Never Do Anything Right
And Everyone Tells You So
You Cry In The Middle Of The Night
But Never Let Anyone Know
I Can't Seem To Trust People Anymore
Because They Have All Turned Against Me
People Behind Your Back Call You A Whore
I Did Nothing But They Won't Let Me Be
Both The People I Loved Have Hurt Me In The End
And As Much As I Say I Did, I Can't Get Over The Two
Can't Count How Many Times I Got Backstabbed By A Friend
There's Times Where I'm Lost And Don't Know What To Do
Sure I Think It's Not All That Bad
But You Try Living Through It..
Because You Have No Clue
Even If I Said It You Wouldn't Believe Me
But There Is A Lot I Go Through
Do You Get Told You're A Bitch Everyday
And Get Yelled At all Day Long
You Can't Even Have A Word To Say
Or Else It Will Just Be Wrong
You Can Never Do Anything Right
And Everyone Tells You So
You Cry In The Middle Of The Night
But Never Let Anyone Know
I Can't Seem To Trust People Anymore
Because They Have All Turned Against Me
People Behind Your Back Call You A Whore
I Did Nothing But They Won't Let Me Be
Both The People I Loved Have Hurt Me In The End
And As Much As I Say I Did, I Can't Get Over The Two
Can't Count How Many Times I Got Backstabbed By A Friend
There's Times Where I'm Lost And Don't Know What To Do
Sure I Think It's Not All That Bad
But You Try Living Through It..
Color Me
Color me red
I'm gone, I'm dead
I don't know why I'm still waiting
When I only get misled
Color me green
I'm lost, unseen
Maybe I'm just looking
For what I really mean
Color me pink
I cannot think
It's too much to get involved
As the weakest link
Color me yellow
Watch me go
I am who I am, I won't change
I'm sorry if that's a blow
Color me violet
I paid my debt
I am not afraid to sing
But I'm only half of that duet
Color me gold
I'm cruel, I'm cold
But that's part of me, can't change it
I try to keep myself controlled
Color me blue
I need you too
But it's not enough to say it
I have to know it's true
Color me every color now
But changing me I can't allow
Even if I always get hurt
Someday, to love, I will know how
I'm gone, I'm dead
I don't know why I'm still waiting
When I only get misled
Color me green
I'm lost, unseen
Maybe I'm just looking
For what I really mean
Color me pink
I cannot think
It's too much to get involved
As the weakest link
Color me yellow
Watch me go
I am who I am, I won't change
I'm sorry if that's a blow
Color me violet
I paid my debt
I am not afraid to sing
But I'm only half of that duet
Color me gold
I'm cruel, I'm cold
But that's part of me, can't change it
I try to keep myself controlled
Color me blue
I need you too
But it's not enough to say it
I have to know it's true
Color me every color now
But changing me I can't allow
Even if I always get hurt
Someday, to love, I will know how
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